May 16th/ Stokeley's Pov/ 7:23 PM/ Stokeley's apartment
I let out a sigh as I unlocked the door to my apartment. For the past 4 days I've been over at Denzel's house and I've been putting off seeing Jahseh. I don't know, I just felt kind of..eh now. Yes, I love him dearly but it's different now, I'm kind of irritated with everything. Like he really just dumped me because I care? I know I said I was tired of his bullshit too, but it's true. The constant communication issues, the problems, the constant fights, it's a lot. I pushed open the door to my apartment and it smelled like fabuloso, I could hear soft music coming from down the hall and a soft light was on.
I didn't tell Jahseh I was coming back, mainly because I wasn't sure if I was gonna come back today, I've been kind of procrastinating. It's been about 4 days since we got into that fight and everything is starting to settle in. I quietly closed the door behind me and I could hear footsteps and humming. I rested my keys on the counter as the humming and footsteps got closer and it sounded like he was practicing his breathing.
He walked out of the hallway with a cup in his hand and slightly jumped when he saw me. His face instantly softened and I felt my heart get a little happy. "I didn't expect you to be here" he said quietly. I mean, I live here but I guess I understand what he's saying. "Yeah, I didn't really plan on when I was coming back" He looked me up and down and fixed his clothes.
"But you said you wanted to talk, so." I slightly folded my lips in, curious on what he was going to say. "Right. I really do want to talk." He sighed walking into the kitchen and I walked over to the island and pulled out a barstool to sit down. He placed the cup in the sink before resting his arms on the counter. "So, let's talk" I shrugged. Jahseh sighed and moved his hair out of his face and blew air out of his mouth. "I'm so fucking sorry for lashing out like that" He took a little pause.
"I just...I didn't want you to see me in that type of situation. I didn't want you to think of me as weak or like you need to take care of me more." He continued on but I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow. Why would I think of him as weak? That doesn't make him weak at all, it was a situation out of his control. Matter of fact, he defended himself when it was 2 niggas on 1 so I'm proud of him. "Jah, I don't see you as weak. It was out of your control but you also defended yourself and I'm proud of you." I shrugged and he seemed to have a waved of ease cross his face.
"I guess, but I also didn't want you to find out like that. I wanted to tell you when I was ready, which is why I was so mad when you went digging into it" he sighed slightly moving back. "I get that. I wasn't even mad you didn't tell me about it, because yeah I get it's a fucked up experience but I was more upset at the lack of communication from you. You just didn't say shit, I asked you if something was wrong and you said no. I would've appreciated you telling me you're going through something but you don't want to talk about it. I would've respected that" I slightly pouted.
It's true, I don't know why Jahseh sees me more complicated or brutal than I am. He knows me better than anyone so I'm not sure where this different perspective of me is coming from. "I'm sorry, I know I've been treating you like shit lately...I'm also sorry for just breaking up with you" He sighed. I just nodded and the room fell silent. He gave me a weird look like he was expecting me to say something.
"So, can we act like I never said that and continue?" He said quietly and I softly shook my head. He was taken aback but didn't say anything. "Jah, you can't be serious" I softly chuckled. "I love you, like real love but you need to work on some shit first. You broke up with me because I care, and I can't deal with your poor communication." His face softly dropped and it hurt to watch but think about it, if I just take him back he'll think he can do it again and we do have shit to work on anyway.
