'I feel like I am in a void. A void where everything just stays the way it is, like an astronaut floating in space. No light, no hope just emptiness and darkness. Is this how it feels for everyone? Or is this my way of seeing things'.
'NOVIE, NOVIE!!!' I heard my name.
I opened my eyes and was hit with the ray of sun light and greenery surrounding me, the tree I lay under had just bloom to its fullest. Hearing the rustling leaves and wind above me I felt the peace I always craved for, but it was over in just a few seconds when a book landed on my head.
'AWWWW!' I exclaimed and sat up
'What was that for? ' I whispered at the direction in which the book came from.
'Is that what you are supposed to be asking me, seriously?' the voice said
I turned to face the voice and saw my close friend Abbie. I wouldn't call her close but that's what she tells everyone. I'm not close to anyone never was never will be.
'I have been searching the whole world for you, Novie and here you are enjoying your solitude' she said exaggerating with her hands on her hips.
I crossed my leg and looked straight at her and smiled my weak light smile I could force on my lips.
'Why were you looking for me?' I asked. She gasped
'Why, are you asking me why?' She spoke
'There is no reason for a close friend to look for another close friend right after church service, right?' she said sarcastically
' Must there be a reason to look for you?' she asked
I just stared at her Abbie. She is a very beautiful woman. She has platinum blonde hair that reaches her waist and silver eyes. She has a slender like body meant for models and light skin. She looked well off but was also simple and free. It made me wonder why this young woman decided to be my friend amongst everyone in the whole church.
There is nothing special about me so why? my thoughts started creeping on me again until suddenly I was shaken violently.
'Earth to Novie please!' Abbie said.
' It's okay please 'I said giggling.
'I have been talking to you for the past minute and what I got back from you was a blank stare' she said pouting.
'Sorry, didn't realize when I zoned out' I apologized.
'You don't have to feel sorry for this, you just have to pay attention more frequently, that's all' she said shrugging it off.
She pulled me up and picked up my tote bag.
'I know what you need... she was saying
'Need?' I questioned unsure of what she meant
'Yes, what you need, is a good cold drink ' she said dragging me from under the tree towards her car. I turned my head backwards to bid my solitary farewell for when I would see it again was until next week Sunday.
we got to her car, and she let go off my hand to open the door. I just stood there waiting shuffling my feet on the tarred parking lot.
'Holy shi..., ' I cleared my throat frowning at her. She looked at me smiling sheepishly.
'I think I left my keys in the church; I'll go look for it, wait by the car okay' she said and left in a hurry before I could respond.
I just sighed and stood by the car watching my reflection on the window.
I am a slender woman, curved in all the right places, or so they say and my simple sunflower dress does little to hide it. I stand at 5'5, twenty-six years old, with light brown skin that catches the light beautifully, at least according to everyone else. My mid-length curls are gathered high with a butterfly hair clip, and my hazel eyes; foxy, they once called them stare back at me now, duller than they used to be. The glow that once lived there has faded.
My nose is small, my lips naturally pink, soft in a way that should make smiling easy.
But it doesn't.
I look at my reflection and try to smile, try to convince myself that this image is enough, that I am enough. My lips curve slightly, but the feeling never follows. The mirror gives me back a version of myself I barely recognize.
Nothing settles.
Nothing lifts.
And no matter how hard I try, nothing makes me happy anymore.
While being lost in the maze I call my mind, I feel a tap on my shoulder and get startled, I turn sharply hitting my back on the car door looking scared to see a young man staring at me concerned.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I tried calling out to you, but you seemed deep in thought," he said, approaching me with clear worry in his voice.
"Are you okay?"
In that instant, the fear I usually carried; always heavy, always present, vanished. That simple question, the one I had wanted to hear my whole life, was offered to me so casually by someone I didn't even know. A complete stranger.
I saw it then genuine concern, directed at me. It felt unreal, almost too good to be true. My mind spun with a thousand questions.
Why is he here? What does he want from me? Why does he look worried about me?
"Hey, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to scare you. I just... I don't understand why you're crying," he said, clearly shaken.
His words made me realize what I hadn't noticed. Tears were streaming down my face. I lifted a trembling hand to my cheek, startled by the wetness.
What is this supposed to mean? I wondered, confused.
I looked up at him, fear crashing back into me all at once. And suddenly, I was that girl from years ago again; haunted by memories I carried every single day. A past that clung to me like a shadow, refusing to let go. A pain no one could see, no one could take away. For a brief moment, it had loosened its grip, giving me a second of peace, a break from everything.
And that was why I could never smile the way I used to.
Panic flooded my chest. My thoughts raced wildly, colliding, screaming for escape.
I clutched my bag tightly to my chest and pushed past him, running anywhere my legs would carry me. Away from his searching eyes. Away from the world that had hurt me and still did.
YOU ARE READING
Ungullible
Ficción General"Why should people be deceived?, why can't everyone just be satisfied with one thing ?, is it necessary to be what everyone likes or what everyone wants ? I'm tired of this and I won't let that be me. Novia Adams is a God-fearing girl that has had...
