Ungullible

CHAPTER 20: SAFE HAVEN.

I never thought I needed someone to take my pain away, until grief made it unbearable. That night, I sat on the side of the road, knees to my chest, the cold cutting through me. I called Jason, barely able to speak. I just needed him.

Time passed in a blur until I felt his hand on my shoulder, heard his voice call my name like it mattered. When he cupped my face and looked at me with that kind of care, something inside me broke open. I couldn't speak, I just cried. And he held me like he'd been waiting all along.

He brought me to his home, and from the moment I stepped in, I was welcomed with warmth, his aunt, his uncle, the house itself. It all felt soft, lived-in, kind. We shared long walks and longer talks, and for the first time, I truly opened up. I told him what I was feeling things I hadn't even said out loud to myself.

That morning: that morning, was awkward, yes. But it made my heart skip. Something about it lingered. And later, when our hands brushed on the way back from his quiet place on the hill, I felt something I couldn't name. A small current. A shift.

Being with him made me happy. But I kept asking myself, is that all I want from him? Friendship? Maybe that's what it is now, but what happens later? Because deep down, I think I want to keep him... for myself.

I woke up early, unable to quiet my thoughts. My mind kept replaying moments, our trip to the beach house, the strange and intimate stillness of that morning a few days ago. I was different around him now. Shyer. More sensitive to every word he said, every glance he gave. Every small moment we shared left me giddy, but I couldn't say why.

Or maybe... I knew. I just wasn't ready to admit it. And I wanted answers.

I took a long bath and changed into my own clothes, finally. Nannu had dropped them off for me the day before, and honestly, it was a relief. I'd been squeezing into Jason's cousin's old teenage outfits, and while I'd made do for a day or two, they were way too short and definitely not my style.

Feeling a bit more like me, I decided to call Abbie. It had been a while since we talked, and I missed her voice. I figured Jason might've mentioned I was with him, but I trusted him, he wouldn't tell anyone the details unless I wanted him to. That was something I never had to question with him.

She picked up after the third ring.

"Hiiiiii! Novie!" she practically squealed into the phone, her voice bursting with excitement.

I smiled. "Hey, Abbie."

"Ohhh, don't you 'hey' me," she teased. "Where have you been, woman? Gone silent like you've joined a secret cult or something."

I laughed lightly, already knowing where this was heading. "I've just been... resting. Taking some time."

"Mmhmm." She dragged out the sound, playfully suspicious. "So... any reason why I had to find out from Jason that you're staying at his place?"

I rolled my eyes, though I was smiling. "He told you?"

"He told me you were okay and that you were staying with him. That's all," she said, suddenly serious for a moment. "You know he wouldn't tell me more. Said if you wanted to talk about it, you would."

That made my chest soften a little. "Yeah... I know. That sounds like him."

Abbie paused, and when she spoke again, her voice was gentler. "So... are you okay, Novie?"

I looked out the window, watching the early light stretch across the trees. I didn't know how to answer that fully.

"I'm getting there," I said quietly. "It's been hard... but being here, with him... it's helped."