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CHAPTER 10: REGRET.

"Regret" refers to a feeling of sadness, disappointment, or remorse over something that has happened or been done, especially when you wish it could have been different. It can be about actions taken, words spoken, or opportunities missed. Regret is often associated with a desire to undo or change the past, though it serves as a reflection our choices made.

After Jason and Abbie's visit, Nannu began staying home as she used to, while my father occasionally stopped by. Whenever he did, I would lock myself in my room. I returned to church, but Abbie kept her distance, offering only sympathetic glances. Jason, on the other hand, tried to approach me, but I kept avoiding him. As much as I wanted him to follow through on what he said, I was afraid he actually would.

After a month or two, I couldn't bear the strain of this exhausting game of hide and seek. I had spent a lot of time reflecting on how I treated Abbie, and I realized I was wrong to lash out at her and ask her to leave when she was genuinely concerned about me. While I still wasn't ready to talk about everything, I missed her presence especially sitting with me under the tree. 

I made up my mind to apologize to her. I hurried to my diary on the dresser and flipped through it to find her number. I had never actually called or texted her before, I always assumed I'd see her on Sundays, so I had just jotted it down for reference. Now, it was coming in handy.

I saved her number in my phone, added her name, and sent her a message.

"Hello," I typed.

A few minutes later, she replied: "Hi."

"It's Novie," I wrote.

"Hey, Novie! How are you?" she responded.

"I'm okay," I replied before quickly adding, "Can we talk?"

"Sure," she said. "Should I call, or...?"

"No, can we meet up?" I asked.

"I'm really busy right now, but how about in an hour or two?" she suggested.

"Perfect," I responded. "Thank you."

Feeling a mix of relief and nervousness, I tossed my phone onto the bed.

I went about my daily routine, anxiously waiting for the hour to pass. I got ready in a sage green sundress and brown sandals, my hair styled in a bun, and a butterfly pendant necklace around my neck. I folded a shawl over my arm and grabbed a small bag to carry my phone, charger, and purse.

When I went downstairs, I found Nannu sitting in the corner of the room, reading a book with her glasses on.

"Nannu, I'm going out. Can you please drop me off?" I asked.

She looked up from her book, giving me her full attention.

"Yes, I don't mind," she replied, then asked, "But where are you going?"

"I'm meeting up with a friend," I said, feeling a bit excited.

"Friend? You have a friend?" she said surprised with a smile.

"Yes, I do," I answered proudly.

"And where are you meeting?" she inquired, her gaze sharpening as she looked at me through half-closed eyes.

It suddenly occurred to me I hadn't asked her where to meet, and I scolded myself internally. I quickly grabbed my phone from my bag and texted her: Where are we meeting? A moment later, she replied with the directions.