The Shadow Of Identity Behind The Mirror Of Reality

CHAPTER #11

(Rowen's pov)

I was swimming in the sea of my father's expectations. Many have drowned in the seas like that.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living someone else's life. A life scripted by my father's ambition

I could never escape from this family's legacy and the empire my father built.

My life has been a never-ending quest for validation and approval from the person who matters most- my father.

Growing up, I felt like I could never measure up, every accomplishment, every success was met with a nod and push for more.

“You can do better, Rowen.”

“You are not living up to your potential.”

The pressure was suffocating.

At 17 I started working under my father's wings, learning the ropes of my father's underground mission. I thought it would bring us closer, prove myself worthy. But it only intensified the insecurity.

I try to be strong, I need to be. I'm ready to face anything to be worthy enough but when I look at myself in the mirror, the reflection stares at me, who has a mask of confidence.

But beneath the surface, the doubts creep in. I see a man who has more scars of self doubt and failure and the scars of success.

“Will I ever be enough?”

“What if I fail?”

                     _________

(Flashback)

“You're not living up to your potential”
My father's words echoed across the room.

“I have been training you for so long. And this is what I get. How did you lose that person?”

“I'm…sorry dad” I stutter.
“I tried really hard to catch him but I couldn't”

I could see him getting furious but holding it back.
“I'm trying so hard to set a team for you and is this how you're gonna lead it? With excuses?”

“I'll work harder” that's all I could say.

I really wished I had caught that person on time. I was on a mission. I was chasing that criminal for so long. I was almost going to catch him…almost, until I bumped into someone.

We fell to the ground. My mind was spinning. I didn't want to waste a second and let him go out of my sight. I pushed myself off the ground. I was on my feet. I was about to run again when I felt a grab on my hand.

“You have no manners, mister?"she questioned rigorously.
"Let me go," I said trying to get off her grip

"How on earth can I do that? You bumped into my friend so hard that she hit her head and now you're running away without apologizing.

I could not think straight. My eyes were just focused on the way I had to run to catch that bastard.

"Just fucking let me go I need to leave!"
I yelled at her.

She didn't budge. He wasn't my sight anymore. I won't be able to catch him anymore. I felt the strength in my body slowly disappearing. My hand dropped down. I felt anger fuming up. I don't know how my father is going to react to this.

I turned towards her, my eyes filled with fear now running cold.

“I'm so fucking sorry lady. And also I'm really thankful. Because of you I have got to face consequences.” I hurriedly started walking towards the other side.