Diary of a broken kid

birthday

in the heart of the  spooky season , i celebrate my 18th birthday. I've never understood the concepts of birthdays and to be honest i've always hated them. still , my family gathered up to celebrate , though my dad wasn't there, . My mom answered a call from him and i overheard his voice say  " sorry i couldn't come , wish a happy birthday to Alex ".  his   military  service seemed more important to him . well our relationship was  distant though i had tried time and again  to bridge the gap. My dad is an  officer in the army, disciplined and hard . He barely  spoke words of tenderness to me maybe once or twice in my life . so there was i surrounded by mom , my neighbour and my sister , wishing me a happy birthday but  it felt like whispers in the wind. at first i felt wramth but the weight of life's emptiness  crashed back in
i think that everything went downhill since i tried to end my life , i thought that facing something so brumal can bring us closer  but he hated me more . he despised me for it . im convinced that  after this incident he hated me more than anything
my dream was to be a writer, i loved how words could build an entire realm . but my parents had other plans . Medicine, oh yes they said a better "career" .
every time i showed my dad my poems , waiting for an approval , he would tear them apart literally and verbally. "this is crap" he'd say and worse, "i will never be proud of you"