Diary of a broken kid

highschool

loneliness has been my companion for as long as i can remember .Back in high school i had no friends . i was bullied and harassed. my classmates both boys and girls were all the same : brumal , mean and eager to make my life miserable . they were all mean to me . I tried to fit in , talk to them , but no matter what i did they laughed at my expense .
high school became a cruel battlefield where i was beaten down physically and mentally . The boys turned me into a punching bag . while the girls , oh girls they made sure to remind me that i was "smelly" and" dirty".
There was that one girl , though, who stood out to me , her name was sarah . i was captivated by her beautiful smile and the gorgeousness of her dark brown eyes.
i would sit in class silently watching her , admiring her angelic grace . I daydreamed about talking to her . convincing myself that she would see something special in me too .
Eventually i gathered up my courage and i went to her , hoping for a chance to tell her how i felt. In my fantasies she would smile and confess that she felt the same .but reality was crueler . she looked at me with filth and told me coldly that she could never love a "smelly " guy like me .
in a blink of an eye, my heart shattered. The little hope i had collapsed , and the news of my rejection spread trough the school like a wildfire
suddenly everyone had a solid reason to bully me .All i ever wanted was to be seen, but instead, i became the loser of the school
Just when thinking things couldn't get worst , the boys in my class found another reason to torment me , they started calling me gay due to my long hair . But things got worst - things escalated pretty quick . They began to touch me and harassing me in ways that made me feel small, powerless and vulnerable.i had no refuge and no one to turn to . To this day no one knows.
The teacher weren't any better , i was a terrible student . they all agreed that i was smart but lazy , as if my lack of engagement was some sort of a personal failure rather than the hell im living trough . But i couldn't care less, my passion was poetry , something that my parents didn't understand. To them it was always about grades , achievements that meant nothing to me . and i despised it