Escapism.

17

„Alora, bigger feet or I'll cut them off"
I bigger my feet, feeling a painful stretch.

After yesterday my body feels so soulless.
I can't concentrate...plus I never told soph what happened, wich makes it even worse bc she's been question me about what happened.

„Okay Alora that's it for today. Practice, Practice...I need to see bigger feet tomorrow" Zenovia says, I make my way to my bag.

„Tomorrow we will have a weight check up"
„Weight check up ?"
„yea...we haven't done that in a while, everybody higher than 120lbs will go on a diet" I pick up my bag and just nod before leaving.
Outside i take a zip out of my water bottle before I make my way outside.

Sophia is not in town for a few days...so that means I get to drive her car. Alone.
Outside the building i hear a known voice.

„Okay I gotta go inside...we will meet at seven okay ?" Karoline kisses her boyfriend on the check before going inside. She gives me a big side eye, what ruined my whole day.

As I walk to my car i see Jayden smile at me. He stands next to my Car wich pisses me off so much that I literally want to take the Bus.

„Hey" his smile fades.
„Hey"

„Are you okay ?" I look at him and nod.
„Yes why ?"
„I don't know, maybe because of yesterday"
He leans on my car.

„Don't lean on my sisters car please Jayden"

He stands straight and smile a little bit.

„Thank you"

„so..."

„So?" I raise one eyebrow.

„Let's grab something to eat" he suggests with a big smile on his face.

„No I can't eat now"

„Why are you on an diet ?"

I look at him in complete confusion. He doesn't get it. Does his little Karoline never diet ?

„Karol is on diet too. So that's why I'm asking"

And he didn't even question it...at all.
This man simply doesn't care what you do. You could be posting porn, he wouldn't say shit. You could flirt with someone else he wouldn't say shit. You could go on a trip and don't text him
for a month and he wouldn't say shit.
This guy doesn't give a shit.

And I really don't know why.
Sometimes I think he doesn't have the heart to care. Or the time care. It always been like that.

Nothing really changed...nothing. Not even the way he looks.

„I mean y'all are beautiful. But you don't need to loose more weight at all to fit in some kind of standard"

„You don't know shit right?"

„Yes"

„I can tell very much. Don't ask so many questions and leave it" I open my car door.
„wow you're going to leave now ?"
„Yes...? You're girlfriend is literally so near us, I'm not risking anything"
I step into the car and before even having the opportunity to close the door, the man steps infront of the seat.

„where you do live ?"
„Down the street why?"
„okay and I live ten minutes from here"
„that means ?"
„That were are going to my place"
„What ?"
„Yes"

„No"
„Yes"

„Alora"
„Jayden ?" I look at him in confusion was that a treat.
„You can kiss my ass, I'm not stepping a foot into you're apartment Jayden..."
„come on"
„No"

I take a deep breath while I face the view infront of me.

„When I say yes will you shut up ?"
„You know that answer already"

-

„that's a huge apartment"
„right ? I bought that apartment while I meet Karol...what caused me to move from Georgia to Florida"
„Ah"

What am I doing here again ?

I walk trough the big rooftop apartment.

It's very big and very bright. A natural light shines trough the big windows of the apartment.
„do you need something to drink ?"

„No thank you"
The man walks into the kitchen and comes back two minutes later with a glass of water.
He looks nervous. And very very unsure.

„Why am I here again ?"
„To chill why ?"

I Observe his body language. And it's very stiff.
„when is you're girlfriend done again ?"
„In like two hours or sum?"
„Or sum ?"

I look at him and he grins a little bit, he relaxes a bit and slowly walks up to me standing besides the couch.
„You look so pretty"
„Thank you"

I smile a bit.

I don't know how to feel about all this. And I still don't know what to say to this.

„And why are you bringing me to your girlfriends apartment again ?"
„Because we are friends"
„Said who?"

He sits down.
„I said it"

„You really think you cheating on your girlfriend with me will give you a chance to try again with me ?"

He looks at me and I can see sadness trough his eyes.
„Even if I would take you back...what will guarantee me that you won't do the same you do to Carol to me ?"
„Alora"

„Jayden"

He pulls out his phone showing me a picture of Carol.
„Look at her" i look at the picture.
„what are you trying to say"

„Look at her again, her eyes...the shape of her eyes, the color. And then look at her smile...her hair"

Looking deeper at the picture...Carol and I do look alike, the only difference is her skin color. She is more lighter than me.
And I never knew that.

„She looks like you...and you don't know it. But I always promised to look for you in every girl I meet" I look at him with a soulless face. He must be kidding.
„You might not notice it, but Carol has the same Personality trades as you. She is fearless, independent, and everything she plans on to do whether it's hard or easy...she will make it happen, and fullfill her plan. She is very very confident in the things she does...

Just like you"

I look him deep into his eyes, trying to control my tears that want to release from my eyes.
„Why are you doing this Jayden?"

„Because I love you"
„No you don't" I feel my tears rolling down my eyes.
He wipes away my tear with his finger.
„I never stopped loving you"
„stop lying"
„I'm not"
„You are...you moved on...that's what you said"
„I lied"

I can't.