Between Two Worlds

CHAPTER 6 - The Weight of Choices (Ava's POV)

These days passed in a haze. Every moment with Mia and Jess was a mix of happiness and uncertainty. Thoughts kept going through my head around what we discussed outside her house. Every word felt so meaningful, each glance heavy with unspoken emotion.

School was going to start soon, and school was making my head full of dread. My parents already began planning for the year, with advanced classes and extracurriculars that would hardly leave room for anything else, much less feelings for Mia that were growing inside of me. All this weighed upon me like a thick cloak I couldn't shake off.

There was this particular evening after a very busy day when I was supposed to sit down and write summer assignments that for the very first time would not let me focus on anything. I just stared blankly in front of me, thinking of Mia again, the unread email, and the constraints my parents imposed on me. As I looked at the phone, I found myself procrastinating. I then decided to send her a text.

Ah, I thought to myself, my impulsive side taking the better of me. I wrote a message: Hey, wanna meet by the oak tree tomorrow? Just us?

I sent it off and my stomach was doing flips. What if she couldn't? What if she'd forgotten our conversation? It ate at my belly.

Just as I placed the phone on the table, it buzzed with a reply. 

That'd be great! What time? 

How about 3? 

Perfect!

A smile started creeping across my face. Hope had finally dawned within me for the first time in days. But I needed to sort things out with Mia-to clarify where we stood.

The hours seemed so long, seemed endless, as if every minute were stretched out to an eternity as I counted the ticks of the clock. Barely did I pay attention during my last class, thinking constantly of the oak tree and what I would speak of there. At last the bell sounded and out of that place I ran toward our spot.

The sun shone brightly overhead, sending out cheerful shadows cast from my body as I leaned back into the tree. I breathed a few deep breaths, trying to collect my chillers and calm myself. Thicken air with this feeling of hope and a wonder if Mia felt it too.

A few minutes went by, then I saw her coming - a bright smile had filled her lips, full of joy that heated me through and through.

"Hey Ava!" she greeted, her melodic voice filled with comfort just in time.

"Hi," I said, unable to keep the smile off my face. "Great you could come."

"So me too, happy to be here," she said; she sat beside me, our shoulders touching, sending the electricity shooting down my spine.

"I've been thinking a lot about what we discussed," I said, trying not to let the flutter in my chest find its way into my voice. "Us."

"I don't want to rush anything, but we need to figure out how to navigate this," she said, her eyes locking into mine.

I nodded as relief washed through me. "Exactly. My parents are going to be super strict about who I spend time with; my nerves have always been in knots about how they will respond to this."

"I can imagine how difficult that must be," she said, her face relaxing. "But I want to work through this with you. I don't want to pretend everything's fine."

I caught my breath and felt her words sink into my chest. "What if we keep it on the down-low for now? Just hang out like we have been and see where it goes?"

"Yes, that sounds good," she said with a smile again. "I want to have fun being with you too."

Our conversation took us from fears to hopes as the conversation was going deep between us. I expressed my dreams, which were to study art rather than submit to what my parents really expect me to do. Mia told me about her aims to be able to study at an art school but was being burdened by the pressure of her family's expectations.

With the sun dipping, making the world gold-lined, I felt clarity I hadn't known in a long time.

"Thanks for talking with me," she said softly. "I feel like we're on the same page."

"I too," I replied, finding comfort in her steady gaze. "No matter what goes down with your parents, know this: I want you to know I'm here for you. I care about you, Ava."

Her words are a warm embrace for my heart, full of hope in this confusing world.

We stay under the oak tree with her, knowing that time will allow everything. And we were only just beginning-on the threshold of something beautiful and terrifying. Ready to take that next step, together.

A beautiful sun-kissed evening, splashing hues of pink and orange across the firmament. My heart sat heavy in my chest, heavy with thought: hope, fear, longing. I wanted to stretch forth, take Mia's hand, seal the moment, but caution clutched the better part of me.

"What if. I drew back. What if they see us? What if your parents find out?

Mia furrowed her brow a little. "That's a risk we're going to have to take if we're going to be honest about our feelings. But I think we can do it."

I nodded, admiring her confidence. "You're right. But my parents - if they knew that I was even thinking of seeing someone, especially someone like you, they'd freak."

"Someone like me?" she teased, a playful glint in her eyes.

"Someone. like you," I stammered, my cheeks growing hot with the blush climbing to them. "You are outgoing and fun, everything I am not. They'd worry I'd get distracted from my studies."

"Maybe you need a little distraction," she said with a sly smile spreading over her lips. "Sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone is good."

Her words sank deep within me. Perhaps I did need this—this uncertainty, this connection. "I think I'm finally starting to understand that," I said, my voice shaking with vulnerability. "But it's scary."

"Scary can be good too," Mia said, looking at me with steady, encouraging eyes. "It means you're growing."

Outside laughter of children playing in the yard jolted me into the world so far beyond our little bubble. I looked out at the skyline-the sun setting low, our time running away.

"Mia," I said to her urgently, "what if we made a pact? Just for the summer. We meet when we can; things stay light; and we just go with it."

Her eyes lit up. "I love that idea! A summer pact!"

"Exactly! No pressure, just us, hanging out and figuring things out." My excitement swirled within me, possibilities blossoming.

"I'm in," she said, her smile wide and contagious. "This summer is ours."

We leaned back against the tree, taking in the moment, the children's laughter and the rustling of the leaves the perfect backdrop. But just as my heart settled, the weight of reality came crashing back.

"Mia," I began slowly, "what if Jess finds out? I don't want her to feel left out."

"I think Jess is pretty perceptive," Mia mused. 

I thought about this, considering how to navigate this new landscape. 

We sat there in comfortable silence as the last rays of the sun slipped away, a mix of peacefulness and excitement swelling within me, an unfamiliar yet welcome feeling.

As the darkness crept into the room, I caught a deep breath and steeled myself for what I was going to say. "Mia, I just want you to know that I'm really glad we're doing this. You mean a lot to me."

She smiled at me. "You mean a lot to me too, Ava. I never knew talking to someone like this could feel so nice."

And suddenly the idea occurred. "We must celebrate the agreement we entered into! We should do something special. Maybe a day trip or an art exhibit? Something that celebrates the start."

"That sounds great! There's that new gallery downtown with that emerging artist's exhibit," Mia said, bubbly excitement peeking through.

"That would be perfect," I replied getting all goofy. "Let's plan it this weekend."

"Can I bring Jess?" she asked, her eyes dancing.

"Absolutely! It'll be fun having her with us. And it will help keep things casual," I said, relieved that bringing Jess along didn't feel like a betrayal of the relationship blossoming between Mia and me.

As we planned, a mixture of excitement and nervousness churned inside my stomach. Spending time with Mia was always an adventure filled with unknowns, but this time around, I welcomed it.

As the evening closed in, the cooling air required me to call it an end and head home. Side by side, I could feel the warmth beside me in an attempt to fill the silence that separated us, glowing with undesignated feelings.

As we reached the park's end, I looked at her and suddenly felt bold. "Hey, you think maybe we could, like, hold hands? Kind of make it more real?"

I saw Mia's eyes go wide, followed by a sparkle of mischief. "Only if you promise not to overthink it."

"Deal," I said, reaching for her hand.

Our fingers intertwined, and it was just the most organic thing; it felt just like it meant to be. As we walked down the path, I realized that this summer with all its complexities and surprises, going to be a journey worth taking-together.

With the cool evening air blowing and stars twinkling above, it was like pure conviction holding hands with Mia. Everything disappeared into thin air, leaving nothing in the world but the feeling between us. We were just two young girls navigating this exciting new chapter together.

Just as suddenly as it began, the stillness was broken with a voice.

"Ava! Is that you?"

I raised my head and saw my parents coming out from the trail, their faces illuminated by the soft streetlight beside them. My heart sunk into an abyss, realizing that they caught me holding hands with Mia.

"What are you doing here?" my mother asked, a worriedly confused expression all over her face.

I mumbled a weak reply, my cheeks flushing red. "We were just. um, talking."

Mia squeezed my hand tightly, and in that moment, I felt a connection, but it didn't last long because my parents are not slow people.

"Talking?" Dad repeated, pacing closer. "Holding hands is a little more than talking, isn't it?"

I swallowed hard, praying to wake up and leave this place. "It's not what you think!" I stammered out, but even my ears found my words lame.

"Ava, we need to talk," my mom said sternly, changing from worried to disapproving. "Let's go home."

Electricity shot through me at the loss of this moment. "Wait!" I shouted out, my voice plaintive. "It's not a big deal! We're just friends!"

"This shouldn't be happening," my dad said, folding his arms across his chest. "You're too young for this, Ava."

"It's just Mia; she's my friend!" I said, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

My parents exchanged a look, anguish written on their faces. "We're not trying to make your life horrible," my mom said softly. "But there is a reason for rules. You have to focus on school and your future."

"I know," I said, my voice shaking. "But I can't help the way I feel."

"We're concerned about you, Ava," my father snapped. "You know how we feel regarding this. life style."

I let my heart sink. "It's not a life style! I care for Mia!"

"That's not how it works," my mother countered, shaking her head. "You can't just flush everything we've taught you out of one ear like garbage. This is not who you are."

All these emotions were pent up inside me, and frustration and pain were welling up within me. "You don't even know who I am!" I boomed loudly, like the pent up waters bursting out of a cracked dam. "I am trying to tell you!"

My parents eyes went wide with shock, and momentarily I too, felt a pang of guilt, but I couldn't go back. "I like Mia and that is never going to change because you do not approve. You cannot choose how I feel!"

"It's about family, values, and respect. We worked hard to raise you right," my dad said sharply.
I felt tears prick my eyes, my heart pounding with both anger and sadness. "Right way? You mean your way? You get to decide what's right for me?"

"We're just trying to protect you," my mother said, her voice gentle but with a steel edge. "You have no idea how this world is. People can be cruel. We don't want you to suffer like that."

I pushed my head back, fighting with all my might to keep the dam of emotion from bursting open. "You're hurting me! You don't trust me to make my own choices!"

Then my father advanced, looking sternly ahead. "We cannot let you participate in something we believe is evil. You don't know the details well enough to understand the consequences."

A heavy weight settled on my chest, saddening me with the resolve. "If I'm not good enough for you the way I am, then what's the point?" I stammered, my voice shaking. "I'm not going to hide who I like just to make you feel better."

My parents looked at each other; the looks were mixed with worried expressions. "We're not discussing this now," Dad said unyieldingly. "There is more to discuss that we are going to discuss back at home. But you have to be made aware of the fact that it's something we cannot support," he continued.

As they began walking out of the room, panic welled up inside me. I called out again, but it was in vain. Mia walked away with a hurt and confused expression on her face.

My walk back home was heavy with the unpleasant silence of my parents' disappointment, still hanging in the air like a storm cloud. The heartbeat pounded as I went over the moment in my head-how perfectly Mia's hand fit into mine and the reflected pain in her eyes.
The minute I entered my place, I took a deep breath to stand up for what I wanted despite facing their expectations.

My parents sat across me in the kitchen, stern looks on their faces. "Ava, we must know what is happening," my mom said softly, yet firmly. "You're not a little girl anymore, and we want to guide you."
I nodded, carrying their expectations. "I know you care, but it's not all about the rules. I like Mia. She makes me happy.".

He let out a sigh and raked his fingers over his hair. "It's not about if she makes you happy. It's about what's best for your future. You need to concentrate on school and your art. Relationships can make things complicated."
"But why can't I have both?" I shot back, my voice rising. "I want to explore my feelings with no guilt or shame!"

My parents exchanged nervous glances. For the first time I saw a flicker of doubt creep into their eyes. "Ava, we are not saying you cannot have friends," my mom said slowly. "We are just worried you are a bit too young to understand the effects of that kind of relationship."

I seethed with frustration. "I'm not a kid anymore! I can do this!"

We just want to protect you, my dad said softly now. 'You have so much potential. We wouldn't want anything to get in the way of that.".

So I sat back, resigning myself. The night hadn't exactly played out as I had planned, but now was actually something that I would have to stand and confront the fear of losing what was starting to grow inside of me with Mia. To be honest with my parents, yes, but also to protect that fragile connection.

As I reached my room, I could not avoid the burden that lay on their shoulders as they cast their expectations on me. Deep within me, I knew I couldn't let what I had go for Mia. I had to find a way in which both worlds allowed each other to come together. The determination settled in my chest and made a choice in my mind: I would fight for what I wanted, no matter what came my way.