Between Two Worlds

CHAPTER 10 - Breaking Points

The air was wafting with the smell of coffee and fresh pastries as I walked into the café that next week. I was looking forward to seeing Ava again but, as I glanced across the room, my stomach dropped to find her sitting at a table with a group of friends. Laughter bubbled around them as I had the odd sense of being oppressed by jealousy mixed with sadness.

I halted for a moment in the doorway, and my nerves flared there, but I had caught sight of Ava talking animatedly, her eyes alight with excitement. She immediately looked at me, though, and her smile expanded, and she beckoned me over. "Mia! Come join us!" she called out, her voice fluttering with emotion.

I quickened my pace, part excited, part fearful of how this encounter would go. So keen to be part of her world, yet filled with trepidation regarding how this little encounter was going to turn out "Hey, everyone! This is Mia," Ava said, her voice laced with a carefree quality. "She's a friend from Willow Creek".

Just a friend. The words slap me in the face, their finality echoing in my mind. I smiled-thinly-the weight of her introduction pressed down on my heart like an anvil. The others smiled at me, polite but disinterested. They went on talking, and I'm left standing on the sidelines, a shadow in Ava's warm world.

I tried to try, but everything I said sounded so much like babble. Laughter at the table was a ridiculous reminder of how far from Ava's world I was. She clung to her friends, and instantly, I was invisible. They went on talking while I retreated into my self, the truth hitting me like a meteorite: our connection was fragile indeed.

I finally got up and excused myself to the restroom, where tears stung my eyes. I splashed some water on my face with a hope that washing the sting out may help eliminate the hurt. The ache stuck, heavier than before.

I stepped outside, because I suddenly felt the urge to breathe fresh air, and leaned against the cool brick wall of the café. There, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, finally beginning to text Jess: "Hey. Can we talk?

Moments later, I sat in a park not far from Jess and Ethan. I couldn't hold them back anymore. "I saw Ava," I whispered, my voice cracking. "She was with her friends, and she introduced me as just a friend. It felt like. nothing special."

Jess screwed up her face, concern etched across it. "I'm so sorry, Mia," she said. "That sounds tough.".

It stung," I said, wiping my cheeks. "I thought we had more. But then seeing her with them. I just felt so small."
Ethan leaned in to me. His voice was low and gentle. "Do you think she looks at you as more than a friend? Perhaps she's just trying to juggle everything?

I nodded, but the uncertainty gnawed at me. "I want her to see me as something special, but I don't know how to make that happen. It feels like we're stuck in this limbo.".

Jess edged closer, her face fixed in sobriety. "You have to talk, Mia. Don't let fear now stop you. If you're feeling this way, you need to say something. She may not even know how her words impact you."
"But what if it changes everything?" I asked myself, my heart pounding at the very thought.

Change isn't always bad, Ethan said. You can't control how she feels, but you sure can control how you express yours. You need to be honest with her.

They were speaking, and I was listening to try to make it all sink in. Maybe it was just finally time for honesty with myself. I had nothing to lose anyway. "I need to speak with her," I told them very slowly, forcing my determination into my voice. "I can't keep pretending everything's okay when it isn't."

Jess nodded as a supportive smile spread across her lips. "That's the attitude. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Mia. Just be true to who you are.".

With determination renewed, there was suddenly a spark of hope. I wanted Ava to see the real me-those with big hearts, yearning for something worthwhile. I was never going to let fear take over and dictate my course ever again.

That night, I texted Ava: "Hey. We need to talk soon. Something important to share.".

I met Ava the next day in our favorite café. As I approached her table, my heart was pounding. She looked up, lit up for a moment and then quickly retreated back into uncertain.
"Hey, Mia," she whispered, making a gesture for me to sit.
"Hey," I said, feeling the weight of that moment. "We need to talk."
Ava nodded slightly and furrowed her brow. "Yeah, I have been thinking a lot too."

Took a deep breath and continued with, "I just want to be honest about what I feel. You mean so much to me, Ava. I felt like we had something special, but when you introduced me to your friends, I felt like a stranger. It hurt.".

Her eyes opened wide, and I could see the turmoil inside her. "I know, Mia. I didn't want to hurt you. It's just...my parents are always around, keeping an eye on me and expecting so much from me. I'm afraid of what they would say if they knew I was attached to someone like you."

"Someone like me?" I whispered, barely able to speak.

She dropped her head, her gaze on the tabletop; her hands toyed with the seam of her sleeve. "Afraid, okay? Afraid of what they'd think. Afraid of what my friends would say. It's easier to call you 'friend' than lose everything else. I didn't want to make this harder than it needed to be."

I swallowed over a hardening in my throat. "But what about us? What about how we feel?

"I want to be with you, Mia," she whispered, her voice slightly shaking. "But at the same time, I feel trapped. I don't want to lose my family's support. I have no idea how to get it all cut out in any way. I feel like I care for you so much, but I don't want to drag you into my mess.".

I wanted so badly to comfort her and the fight she put up. "You're not dragging me into anything, Ava. I want to be a part of your life, but you have to open up. We can face this together."

Ava's tears filled up her eyes and she reached out, across that table where she grabbed my hand into hers. "I don't want to lose you. You mean everything to me."

I feel the same way," I said, squeezing her hand. "But we have to be brave, really. If we're going to do this, we have to shake off our fears together, no matter how hard it gets."
She nodded, also wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Okay. I want to try. I just need some time to work things out with my parents.".

"I understand," I whispered softly. "Just know that I'm here for you, no matter what."

We sat there, hands clasped together; yet, uncertainty weighed heavily over our heads. However, a spark of hope had ignited between us. We had moved forward, and for the time being, that was enough.

I was relieved of my burden of worries, and all of a sudden I felt much lighter. I certainly wasn't the only one, for I had Ava who was with me, and together we were going to navigate the tangle of emotions surrounding this.