Between Two Worlds

CHAPTER 7 - Tangled Hearts

Since that discussion under the oak tree, days have been whizzing past. Every moment spent with Ava, thrilling and frightening, like some delicate dance of emotions that brought me to a breathless standstill. I couldn't shake off my newfound feelings of expectation every time I thought of her. It was both exciting and probably uncertain at the same time.

As school came closer and closer, I dived into thoughts of what it meant for us. Ava's strict parents haunted my mind. Only the weights piled on her. I could only wonder what they'd done to her, molding the decisions as if they were clay. This would be unfair enough: that she should work through all these feelings of mine beneath their watchful gaze. I wanted to be honest about what we were building, but I didn't want to make things tough on her.

I was instantly in a state of racing when she texted me asking me to meet her by the oak tree. Hope mixed with apprehension surged through my heart and mind: Do we talk about where we stand? Do we dive deeper into this connection that seems to spark with each glance? Nervous but excited - a feeling I had rarely experienced together.

In fact, when I drew closer to the oak tree the next day, it was Ava who came into my mind and thereby into my heart with a rush of warmth. The smile was a light in the moment; I couldn't do anything but return it. "Hey, Ava!" I called out to her, making myself light despite the weight of my thought.

Hey!" she said with a bright smile, and something lifted off of me like a wave of relief. It was just us, for one moment in time, and I wanted to drink it all in.

We sat close, the conversation flowing very naturally; the moment Ava opened up about her parents' expectations, my heart ached for her because I knew how much daily pressure she was receiving by trying to make her family happy and, at the same time, yearning for freedom to explore who she really is. "You are not alone in this," I told her. "We can figure it out together.".

I could feel the apprehensions within her, that she did feel the burden of other people's opinions. I wanted to be there for her, to become a haven for all that chaos. When she began talking about how much she wanted to be an artist and the problems she was experiencing with her parents regarding how they saw her future, I connected with all that she was saying. I used to have my own ambitions, of course; at least, a bit of hope: going to Music school, but such hopes were outshone by those projected from my family's expectations. This was a shared burden-the seed of this thread bound us.

When Ava proposed keeping it low-key for now, I felt this rush of relief. It made sense. No pressure; just time to figure things out. "Yes, that sounds good," I agreed, smiling through my lips. The prospect of spending some quality time together, free from the burden of the world on our shoulders, felt rather liberated.

It is as if the words just melted us together as we talked and laughed, the spark of something beautiful growing between us. Wanting to hold her hand, wanting to bridge the gap that separated us from our friendship and all that could not be stated, I felt a recognition of caution in her eyes. "What if they see us?" she asked, and that was the sting of frustration with which I drew inward. Why had it to be this complicated?

"Ava," I said, my voice firm yet gentle, "if we're going to explore this, we can't be afraid of what others might think. We deserve to be honest about how we feel."

She nodded with determination, with the faintest traces of fear still playing in her face; the fire to want it, the fear of disappointing her parents, big and looming above her head. I could identify with it; the idea of stepping out of our respective family's expectations was both daunting and exhilarating. Sometimes, I felt that was the only way a person could live at times.

It started getting dusk and coloring the sky into fiery hues of pink and orange. I then realized that we stood at a threshold of something important. I was ready to sign an agreement with Ava, to make the most of this summer of uncertainty. "Let's do something special to seal our pact," I said, my thought arising in bits and pieces. I wanted to celebrate this moment, this budding relationship, however precarious it felt.

When her parents popped up suddenly, the joy we had shared shattered like glass. I watched their faces change from confusion to disapproval. My heart sank at seeing Ava's distress. That thing we had been building together dissipated, became one with the air as tension and fear rolled in.

I wanted to reach up, to hold her hand, to help her through this moment, but the air was thick with unsaid words. Her parents confronted her, and in this scenario, I was invested in a combination of anger and sadness. They just didn't understand how deep it was; they only knew about rules and expectations. I wished that they could have seen that love isn't something to be put in containers or controlled.

When Ava screamed out that she was glad that I liked her, it felt like declaring war against all they had expected, and I have to say that I felt my chest swell with pride for her bravery. She stood up for her self, for us, in a way I never even allowed myself to dream of. But the ache was that her parents outright disapproved of her. One could see in her eyes how hard it was for her to lose not just the connection but also support from her family.

It just so happened that as they were about to walk away, there was disappointment and hurt hanging in the air, like thick fog. I really wanted to say something to soothe her in order to make her feel that I was for her; however, words seemed useless. So, I just turned my face away and continued to walk with my heart burdened by unexpressed emotions. I didn't want her to feel shame about what we had, yet at the same time, things were so complicated on her side.

That night in bed, replaying the events in my head over and over, something fierce rose up inside of me. I felt a determination and desire to keep hold of Ava. I honestly loved her; I was not going to let her go without a fight. There was some comfort in that decision to stay by her side and try to make sense of both our feelings together. This summer belonged to us to explore, find merriment in the tumult.

We may find ourselves with a long series of twists and turns, but that was enough for me to know something: Ava and I were on an adventure for the taking. We were ready to face the world, just a little step at a time.