Between Two Worlds

CHAPTER 18 - Crossroads and Detours

Those days just blur after I talked with Ava, not knowing anything about anything anymore. I tried the best way possible to focus on my classes and quality time with Jess while my mind was still back with Ava and her messy emotions in mine. I felt distance growing between me and Jess even as she was trying to do her best to be supportive of all this.

One afternoon, I met Jess for coffee at our favorite café. She walked in wearing a bright smile, but I could feel that there was something weighing on her. "Hey, you look deep in thought," she said as she sat down in the chair across from me.

"I guess I am," I admitted, stirring my drink. "I've been thinking about Ava... and what she's going through.".

Jess's smile wavered a bit. "You've been pretty withdrawn lately. I just want to make sure you're okay."

I tried to lighten my heart with a bleak tone. "I'm trying to be. But it's hard. I want to be there for Ava, but I also want to be fully here with you."

Jess let out a sigh and flopped back into her chair. "I get that. But it feels like you're caught between two worlds. What do you want, Mia?

So I sat there for a minute, finding my words. "I want to be there for Ava, but I don't lose everything we have been through. I care about you, Jess. You're special to me, and I don't want to hurt you."

She looked at me, her tone softening. "I know, and I appreciate the fact that you are telling me this. But I don't want to just be the alternative. I want to be the choice.

Her words came as a series of strikes. "You're my first choice, Jess. I promise. This is a complicated situation. I want Ava to find her way to happiness-even if it's not with me."

Jess nodded, but I still saw the worry etched on her face. "Just don't lose yourself in trying to help everyone else. You deserve to be happy, too.".

"I will," I said to her, squeezing her hand. "I'll figure it out, I promise."

After speaking with her, I phoned Ava again. I proposed we meet up and discuss her situation with her parents and Jake. I hoped in supporting her that somehow we both could find our way.

Then, as we met up at a nearby park, I could really see the tension in Ava's body. She said thanks for coming and looked a little anxious.
″Of course,″ I said, taking a seat on the bench beside her. "How did it go with your parents?

Ava sighed, smoothing her hair. "It was tough. They really want me to be with Jake, and they do not understand my feelings towards you. I tried explaining it, but they just view it as a phase."
I felt a rush of empathy for her. "That must be pretty frustrating

"It is," she admitted, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I wish they could see how much I care about you, but all they see is their plan for my future."

"Have you thought about what you want?" I asked gently. "Beyond what they want?"

I want to be with you, Mia," she said, with that sorrow in her voice. "But it feels like every time I take a step forward, I get pushed back two."

"Maybe you need to stand your ground," I encouraged. "You deserve to make your own choices. It's your life.".

She looked into my eyes, and below the vulnerability shining in them, "But isn't that a price I stand to pay; losing my parents' support? I don't want to cut them off my life."
"It's a tough decision, but you have to choose what makes you happy," I said my heart weeping for her. "You deserve that.".

As we continued talking, I could feel the old connection between us sparking to life. Alongside that, though, was the weight of my relationship with Jess pressing down on me. I needed to find a way to honor my feelings for both without losing myself in the process.

A few days later I took Jess to an exhibition of local art. She had excited about this for weeks, so it would be a good time for this to serve as a distraction from the seriousness in my head.

As we walked along through the galleries, I watched Jess's face light up at the onlooker at each piece of art: "This one is incredible! she said, pointing at a very vibrant painting.

"It is," I agreed, admiring how passionate she was. "I love to see you so inspired."

Jess turned toward me, her eyes sparkling. "You know, art has a way of capturing emotions that words can't really express. It's like each piece tells a story."

"Just like us," I said with a smile. "We're all a little bit of a work in progress, aren't we?"

She let out a laugh, filling the air once again with joyful sounds that momentarily faded the tension between us. "Exactly! And I'm just trying to figure out how to add some color to my own story."

We kept walking, and I was glad to have Jess by my side. She was kind, fun, and so incredibly supportive. Yet the image of Ava reminded me that love is complicated, and relationships are even more complicated.

As we walked back to Jess's dorm, I almost felt calm wash over me. Jess began cooking us dinner, and we settled on the couch with our plates. We continued talking about each of our days, the distance between us slowly shrinking.

But just as I could allow myself to feel almost perfectly content, my phone buzzed with a text from Ava: Can we talk? I need to see you.

A wave of anxiety hit me, and I looked over at Jess. She was laughing at some silly meme. I knew all of this could come crashing down, and the weight of it fell atop my shoulders like an anchor.

I was required to find a way through that complex web of emotions before it completely unraveled.