Between Two Worlds

CHAPTER 9 - Under Currents

Time started to blur into classes and lectures, assignments and stolen moments with Ava. But lurking beneath, an undercurrent rustled with tension I couldn't shake. Not exactly helping was how Jess had been acting.

One afternoon, we were studying in the dorm; Jess had been looking at her textbook. A sly smile crawled across her face as she asked, "So how is it going with Ava?" She sounded casual, but it was more than that.
I felt something in her tone, so I looked up. "It's good. We're taking things slow, you know?

Taking it slow?" she repeated, reclining in her seat with a look of mock shock. "Aren't those just the code words for 'I'm terrified to commit'?"

I furrowed my brow. "No, it's just. complicated. Her parents are really strict, and I don't want to add to her stress.".

Jess threw up her hands. "But what about your happiness? You shouldn't let anyone make you feel or be with whom they want. You're in college, Mia! This is your time to explore."

"Of course, I want to be happy," I snapped back, irritation welling up. "But it's not all about me. Ava's dealing with a lot.".

"Right, because that's what a relationship is about—putting someone else's needs above your own," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You really need to stand up for what you want, Mia. If she really cares, she'll find a way to be with you, no matter what."

I felt a prickle of frustration. "You don't understand. It's not that simple. I can't just push her into a corner."

Maybe not, but you should at least be honest with yourself. Do you really see a future with her, or are you just holding out for summer fantasies? Jess leaned forward, her face set in a serious expression.

The question hit me straight. Was I really seeing a future with him, or was I just idealizing our time together? "I don't know," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "I want it to work, but..."

But what? Jess pushed, eyes pinching. You can't let fear of the unknown run your life, Mia. Look around you! Everyone else is getting on with things, living their best lives. And you're stuck pining over someone who might not be on the same page as you.

"Stop," I snapped, my face growing hot. "You're being completely unfair.".

Am I not?" Jess fired back, her voice challenging. "I'm just trying to get you to see things clearly. If you're going to waste your time on someone who cannot fully commit, maybe you should look at other options. You deserve better than to be someone's secret."

Her words were more painful than I wanted to admit. "It's not like that. Ava is important to me.".

Then prove it! Quit sitting here and waiting for good things to happen. If you need something real, fight for it. Jess took closer steps, her voice becoming a soft whisper. But if she is not willing to fight back, perhaps it's time to rethink things.

I became silent, thinking. Was Jess right? Was I holding onto something that could never be? This was eating my guts; in my heart, I had been silently fighting a seed of doubt.

The next day, I sat in the dim, staring at my phone, wondering whether to send a text to Ava. I wanted to check in on her, see how she was doing, but Jess's words kept echoing in my mind. What if this was just a phase for her? What if she was simply wasting time on me?

When I finally sent the text message, a mix of excitement and trepidation filled my veins. Hey, everything's going well. Would love to catch up soon.

The response came faster than I had expected. Hey! I'd love that! Can we meet at the café tomorrow?

Washed over me was a wave of relief at this. Maybe Jess was wrong. Maybe Ava did care, despite all I'd said and done. But another part of me couldn't shake the feeling that I was stepping into murky waters.

The following day, when I entered the café, the cosiness of the place closed around me, but my heart felt heavy. Ava had been seated ahead of time; her face lit up as she saw me. "Mia!" she called, waving her hand in my direction.

"Hey," I said, sliding into the chair across from her. The ache in my chest eased a little as I welcomed the view.

"How's been?" Ava asked, her eyes sparkling with real interest.

"Busy," I responded with a smile. "Classes and all. But I've missed you."

"I have too," she said, her voice softening. "Things at home are still tough, but I've been trying to focus on my art."

"That's great!" I said, excitement rising up in me. "I would love to see what you're working on.".

Talking to her about her art, I realized the earlier argument settled between us. Though, in some other level, Jess' words were creeping into my thoughts and even overshadowed our time together. I wished to talk to Ava of the emotions, but I was afraid of forcing things on her.
"Ava," I said hesitating. "Can we talk about us? About what we want?

Her face altered; some fear crept across it. "I'd love that," she said, "but. you know how things are at the moment."

"I do," I said, my voice steady as stone. "But I have to say something. I do care about you. And I want us to be real. If you want to be real too.".

"I want that, Mia," she said, looking right at him with her eyes unblinking. "But I'm scared of what my parents will say. I don't want to disappoint them."

The weight of her words powerfully lingered in the air. "I know, but you deserve to be happy too. We both do," I said, staring into her questioning eyes.

Ava let out a sigh, running her hand through her hair. "I don't know how to balance it all. What if this isn't the right time?"

My heart plunged at her words, but I couldn't let Jess's machinations penetrate my feelings toward Ava. "We can do this together, step by step. Just promise me you will not let fear hold you back.".

She nodded slowly. A flicker of determination ignited in her eyes. "I promise."

As we spoke, I could almost feel the light breaking through the darkness. That was until she said what she did say. I must believe that we can get through this, even if the waters are murky. Ava is worth it, and I wouldn't let anyone, not even Jess dictate my feelings.

I breathed in as I walked out of the café, but the idea settled inside my head anyway: that seeds had been planted with Jess's words. No matter what was happening in the world, no matter what it was hurling at me, I would be me. Ava and I were partners in this journey, and I would fight for our story, no matter what.