Sophia.
That name makes me feel warm. Anytime somebody mentions her, I smile.
Today, Kaydin brought her up in front of mom. I'm pretty sure I was blushing, trying to hide how much I still liked her. And yet it was obvious.
Why can't I stop? I swear, I was actually starting to move on. Yet some way, somehow, she came back into my mind, my feelings still as strong as ever.
I'm really fucking hopeless when it comes to that girl.
“You can only Zing once.” -Hotel Transylvania
I feel like maybe Sophia was my zing. As corny as that sounds, considering I'm quoting a kids movie, I really think she is.
She's my other half. She's my soulmate. She is all I ever need.
At least, that's what I think. What I want. What I hope.
I just really want Sophia.
Isabella thinks it'll never happen. Liz thinks it'll never happen. Mom thinks it'll never happen. Even Kaydin is starting to doubt it.
So when will I just accept it and move on? If we really were meant to be, wouldn't we already be?
Something inside me just can't let go, no matter how hard I try to. No matter how much I want to. What if we really do have a chance in the future? What if someday Sophia finally realizes the person she wants was there all along?
Maybe she doesn't see anything in me. Maybe it was that way the entire time.
I'm gross. My face is too round, my voice is annoying, my laugh is disgusting, I'm too clingy, I come on too strong.
Everything is wrong with me.
Yet I still want Sophia to want me.
As much as I want her.
