Save me (bxb)

20

Tsukishima's POV:

We stood there for a long moment, my hand still in his, the weight of everything Yamaguchi had said settling in.

His grip on me was tight, like he was holding on for dear life- like if he let go, he might just disappear.

And that was the part that scared me the most.

I'd noticed the cracks forming in him long before tonight, even though he always tried to hide them. The way his smiles didn't quite reach his eyes anymore, the way he'd zone out during practice, lost somewhere I couldn't follow.

I thought if I gave him some space, he'd bounce back, like he always had, but lately it was different.

Tonight was just the tipping point.

I should have seen it coming when Suna made his usual smug comments. They were harmless to me, but I knew how Yamaguchi took things to heart, internalising every word, every look.

He'd been drifting further away, and Suna's attention wasn't helping.

I had lashed out at Suna because I couldn't stand how easily Yamaguchi laughed with him, like he was trying to escape something. Something I wasn't seeing.

But now, as Yamaguchi stood here in front of me, his hand clutching mine as if I was the only thing keeping him grounded, I finally understood.

This wasn't about Suna or jealousy.

This was about Yamaguchi holding on to me because he was slipping into something deeper, something darker.

I could see it in his eyes, the way they were clouded with a kind of sadness I wasn't used to seeing from him. A sadness he never talked about.

"Tsukki..." His voice trembled as he broke the silence, the usual confidence in his words gone. "You don't get it. I'm not... I'm not like you."

I frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

His gaze dropped, staring at the ground as if he was searching for the right words. "You've always been so steady. Even when you're mad, or upset, you don't... lose control. You keep it all together. I don't know how to do that."

I stayed silent, waiting. I could feel the pressure in his grip, like he was using all his strength just to stay standing.

"I've been... trying to hold on," he continued, his voice barely audible now. "But sometimes, it feels like everything is too much. Like I'm drowning and I can't keep my head above water. And it doesn't stop. No matter how much I try."

I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. This wasn't a conversation I'd ever thought we'd have, not like this.

Yamaguchi had always been the cheerful one, the one who could pull me out of my own mess of emotions. But hearing him now, hearing the weight in his words- it was like I'd been blind to what was right in front of me.

"I thought if I tried harder, if I could just smile more, or smoke more, or pretend that everything was fine, I'd get through it," he continued, his voice wavering. "But it's getting so hard, Tsukki. Every day it's harder. And I don't know how to make it stop."

I felt a sharp pang in my chest, a mix of anger and helplessness. Angry at myself for not seeing it sooner. Helpless because I didn't know how to fix it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, my voice quieter than I intended.

He looked up at me, his eyes red-rimmed, "Because you don't need to deal with this. I don't want to burden you with my problems."

I almost laughed at the absurdity of it. "You think you're a burden?" I asked, more harshly than I meant to. "Do you seriously think I wouldn't care about this? About you?"

Yamaguchi flinched slightly at my tone, but I didn't stop. "I'm your best friend, Tadashi. I've known you since we were kids. You're the one person I never want to lose, and you think I'd just ignore this? That I wouldn't care if something's wrong with you?"

He was silent, his fingers loosening around mine as he looked away. "I just... I didn't want to bring you down with me."

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my frustration in check. Tadashi always tried to handle everything on his own. He'd been doing that for years, carrying all of his problems quietly, never wanting to bother anyone with them.

But this was different. This wasn't something he could just push down and ignore.

And if he thought for a second that I'd let him go through this alone, he was wrong.

"Listen to me," I said, my voice low but firm, "I'm not leaving you behind. I don't care how messed up you feel. I'm staying, no matter how bad it gets."

He looked up at me, his eyes searching mine for any hint of doubt. But there wasn't any. I wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't going to let him slip away.

I loved him.

"I know you're struggling," I continued, my grip tightening on his hand. "But you're not alone in this. You've never been alone. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

3rd POV:

Yamaguchi's face crumpled, the tears he'd been holding back finally spilling over. He quickly wiped at his eyes, but the more he tried to hold it in, the more the emotions seemed to overwhelm him.

"Tsukki... I don't know if I can do this anymore," he whispered, his voice cracking under the weight of it all.

Tsukishima didn't say anything for a moment. He didn't know the right words to make this better.

The blonde's voice was soft as he spoke, though he was fighting to stay calm for Yamaguchi. "I don't expect you to have it all figured out," he said, his words gentle but firm. "But I'm here, and we'll deal with it. One day at a time. You don't have to do it alone anymore."

Yamaguchi looked up at him, his tear-filled eyes showing a vulnerability that Tsukishima had never seen before. It was heartbreaking. Yamaguchi had always been strong in his own quiet way, carrying the weight of his world on his shoulders without letting anyone worry. Tsukishima hated that he hadn't seen through it sooner.

But this time, he wasn't going to let Yamaguchi push him away.

A small, choked sob escaped Yamaguchi, and before Tsukishima could second-guess himself, he pulled his friend into a hug. It was awkward at first, physical affection wasn't something they did often, but after a moment, Yamaguchi slumped against him, as if all his energy had been drained. His forehead rested against Tsukishima's shoulder, and Tsukishima could feel the shaky breaths as Yamaguchi tried to regain control.

"I-I'm sorry," Yamaguchi whispered, his voice muffled against Tsukishima's shirt. "I didn't mean for it to get this bad."

"Stop apologising," Tsukishima murmured, holding him tighter. "You don't have to apologise for feeling like this."

Slowly, the tension seemed to leave Yamaguchi's body, as though the weight he'd been carrying had begun to lift, if only for a moment. His arms came up to loosely wrap around Tsukishima, uncertain, but Tsukishima didn't care. He wasn't going to let Yamaguchi carry this alone anymore.