Are You Profiling Me?

-15-

A few weeks passed and you were on a case in Boston. Things were going well. Everything was falling into place. You made a deal with Hotch that he needed to see Jack as much as possible. You wouldn't mind spending time with them on your days off but Jack comes first, no babysitters unless on a case.

"Okay my lovely people. This one is a doozy." Penelope flipped the screen. "Seven woman in the last two months have been bludgeoned to death in Boston. The last body was left on the steps at TD garden, her hands tied behind her back with nylon ropes." The screen was littered with pictures.

"So the killings have escalated." Rossi says. Well, yeah, duh. He was always pointing out the obvious.

"He's leaving them in public places. It could be a message." JJ said.

"He could be trying to say that these women are the worst the city has to offer. Trying to rob them of their dignity." Spencer says, leaning back in his chair.

"The women are all blonde and green eyes. Probably a surrogate for someone important in his life. Maybe someone who wronged him. Ex-girlfriend, co-worker?" Emily said.

"Alright, wheels up in 30." Hotch said, picking up the files and heading out. You all made your way onto the jet and surmised that there was nothing else you could do until you landed.

The low hum of the jet's engines fills the cabin as the team relaxes into their seats. You're on the way to a new case, but right now, no one's in any rush to dive back into work. The atmosphere is light, and everyone is leaning into the moment of unwinding.

Morgan, as usual, is leading the charge in the playful banter, lounging in his seat with a self-satisfied grin. "Alright, listen up, people. It's time we settle a long-standing debate. What's the worst pick-up line you've ever heard?"

You snort, already knowing where this is going. Reid immediately perks up, ready to turn this into a full-blown lecture. "Oh, I've got a whole list. Pick-up lines are a fascinating social construct, actually. They're often used as conversation starters but can come across as disingenuous. The brain's limbic system tends to respond to them either by releasing dopamine when they succeed—making the user feel validated—or by inducing an involuntary cringe response when they fail."

Everyone groans.

"Reid, I think Morgan's asking for the worst line, not a full psychology thesis." JJ joked.

Morgan laughed. "Yeah, come on, Reid. This isn't a TED Talk. We want the bad ones, the ones that make you want to walk away without saying a word."

Reid huffs but is undeterred. He leans in like he's about to reveal some kind of deep, academic truth.

"Okay, well, here's one. 'Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.'" Reid said in a deadpan tone.

Prenitss laughed. "Oh, Reid, I feel like I just lost three IQ points listening to that."

"I'm going to be honest, Reid. I've heard worse. But it's definitely up there." Rossi was serious.

The conversation continues as the team starts recalling the cheesy, cringeworthy pick-up lines they've either heard or used in their past.

Morgan gave me a mischievous smile. "Alright, Danielle, you're up. You've got a killer sense of humor. Surely you've got a hilarious one ready for us."

You glance at him with a wicked grin.

"Oh, don't you worry. I've got plenty of bad pick-up lines. You see, the trick is you gotta be bold, but with just the right amount of cringe." You said playfully.

"I'm listening. Lay it on us." Morgan looked interested.

You lean back in your seat and give your best dramatic pause before delivering in the most deadpan tone possible.