The Right Kind of Wrong

32. Savi's Reflection

Savi sat by the window in her room, her books and notes spread out on the desk in front of her. The evening sun cast a warm glow over the pages, but her eyes weren't focused on the text. She had been staring out at the horizon for what felt like hours, her mind swirling with thoughts that had nothing to do with her IAS studies.

Her heart was heavy with emotions she didn't know how to sort through. For weeks now, Rajat had been by her side, offering support and understanding in ways she had never imagined. His patience, his kindness, his unwavering belief in her—it was everything she never knew she needed. And yet, the more she grew attached to him, the more she felt trapped between two worlds: her dream of becoming an IAS officer and the undeniable pull she felt toward Rajat.

Savi sighed, resting her forehead on her palms. What am I supposed to do?

Her phone buzzed, interrupting her thoughts. She glanced down to see a message from Rajat:

Rajat: Hey, just checking in. Need any help with your studies tonight?

She stared at the message for a moment before typing a quick response:

Savi: Thanks, but I'm good. Just going over some old notes.

As she hit send, she felt a pang of guilt. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. She had been avoiding spending too much time with Rajat lately, not because she didn't want to see him, but because every time she did, her feelings for him became harder to ignore.

She stood up abruptly, pacing the room. "Why is this so complicated?" she muttered to herself.

The truth was, she liked Rajat—a lot. His charm and confidence had initially annoyed her, but now she saw him for who he really was. He wasn't just the cocky senior who teased her. He was kind, thoughtful, and always knew when she needed a break. He had a way of making her feel like she wasn't alone in this battle, and that scared her more than anything.

But what if this distracts me? What if I lose myself in this?

Savi stopped pacing and sat down on the bed, pulling her knees to her chest. She had worked so hard to get here. Her dream of becoming an IAS officer was not just for her—it was for her family, for her late father, for her mother who had always believed in her. She couldn't afford to let anything get in the way of that, not even her feelings for Rajat.

A sudden knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. "Savi, are you in there?" a familiar voice called out.

Savi stood up and opened the door to find her professor, Isha Ma'am, standing in the hallway. Isha smiled warmly at her, holding a stack of papers in one hand. "I was just returning these assignments. Thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing."

Savi nodded, stepping aside to let her in. "I'm... managing," she said, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

Isha raised an eyebrow, setting the papers on Savi's desk. "That doesn't sound very convincing," she said gently. "Anything you want to talk about?"

Savi hesitated. Isha had always been more than just a professor to her. She was a mentor, someone Savi could trust with her deepest fears and doubts. And right now, she needed someone to help her make sense of what she was feeling.

"Actually, yes," Savi admitted, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "I've been feeling really... conflicted lately."

Isha took a seat across from her, folding her hands in her lap. "Conflicted about what?"

Savi glanced down at her hands, taking a deep breath before she spoke. "It's about Rajat. I think I... I know I have feelings for him. But I'm also scared. Scared that if I let myself get too close, it'll distract me from everything I've worked for. My IAS dream is everything to me, but lately, I can't stop thinking about him. I don't want to depend on anyone or lose focus on what's important."

Isha listened patiently, her expression calm and understanding. When Savi finished speaking, she leaned forward slightly, her voice soft. "It sounds like you're afraid of letting someone in because you think it might take away from your own strength."

Savi nodded. "Exactly. I've worked so hard to get here, and I don't want to risk losing myself in a relationship. What if I get too caught up in it and I... lose my way?"

Isha smiled gently. "Savi, I understand where you're coming from. It's natural to feel protective of your goals and ambitions, especially when you've worked so hard to achieve them. But let me ask you something—do you think caring about someone, or letting someone care about you, makes you weaker?"

Savi paused, considering the question. "I don't know... I guess I'm afraid it could."

Isha shook her head. "Love, or even just a deep connection with someone, doesn't have to be a weakness. In fact, it can be a source of strength. You don't have to give up your dreams or independence to care for someone. If anything, the right person will support you and help you reach those dreams. It's about finding balance, not choosing one over the other."

Savi looked up, her eyes wide with uncertainty. "But how do I know if I can handle it? What if I can't focus on my studies if I'm thinking about Rajat all the time?"

Isha smiled. "Trust yourself, Savi. You're stronger than you think. And if Rajat truly cares about you, he'll understand that your IAS dream is a priority. A relationship doesn't have to consume you—it can be a partnership where both of you grow, individually and together."

Savi sat in silence for a moment, letting Isha's words sink in. Could it really be that simple? Could she have both—a relationship with Rajat and her dream of becoming an IAS officer? The thought was both terrifying and liberating.

"I guess I'm just afraid of what it could mean for me," Savi said quietly. "I've never let myself get this close to anyone before."

Isha nodded. "And that's okay. It's natural to be afraid of new emotions, especially when they feel like they could change your life. But you don't have to have all the answers right now. Just take things one step at a time. You'll know what's right for you as you move forward."

Savi looked at Isha, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. For the first time in weeks, she felt like she could breathe again.

"Thank you, ma'am," Savi said, her voice soft but sincere. "I really needed to hear that."

Isha smiled warmly. "Anytime, Savi. And remember, whatever you decide, it's your choice. Trust yourself—you'll figure it out."

That night, as Savi lay in bed, Isha's words echoed in her mind. Love doesn't have to be a weakness; it can be a source of strength. She thought about Rajat—how he had been there for her without asking for anything in return, how he had given her space when she needed it, and how he had quietly supported her every step of the way.

Savi smiled to herself, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. Maybe Isha Ma'am was right. Maybe it was time to trust herself—and trust Rajat too.

For now, she didn't have to make any big decisions. But she knew one thing for certain: she wasn't alone in this journey. And that thought gave her more strength than she had ever imagined.

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The 32nd Chapter guys!!

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