Tiger Lilies in the Snow

26 - Everything is fine

Jungkook took a picture of his breakfast: Cereials and some strong coffee. He tapped the send icon to let Taehyung know that he took care of himself and sighed when the black liquid came into contact with his tongue. He was hellishly hung over from his rut. It was as if he had run a marathon every day for the last three days. When he had finished his breakfast and cleaned up behind himself, he finished folding the laundry and made sure that everything inside this flat was clean and tidy again.

Yes, he was an alpha, a real alpha even. But still he knew how to do a household and take care of himself without help. His mother had made sure that he knew how to. She said that it was his responsibility to understand his mate and see how much work their duties would mean to them so he could appreciate how much more they would be doing for him because they would additionally take over the responsibilities as his Luna. He should value their effort they would put into his family and never fail to honestly praise them for taking care so well of him and his pups. And then there would also be the times when his mate would barely be able to fulfil these duties because of their cycles or childbirth. Then he should be able to take over and not rely on any outsider's help. He should always be the one to rely on and be the strong pillar in a raging sea of life like his mate would be the safe harbour he could retreat to whenever he needed to. These were that values Jungkook was taught by his mother and he full heartedly agreed to them.

So now he had to finish his chores now because he was so hung over yesterday that he dozed off so many times and had slept for hours. This time the hangover was worse just like his rut had been, too. His mate's pheromones really had influenced his cycle mentionable. And then he also got interrupted by some of his memory of the past few days coming back. Not only did he burn up in embarrassment in front of himself, but he also had to face the fact that some moments that flashed before his inner eye made him hard again and he had to take care of his raging hard on because his body would not cool down on its own again. It was not like during a rut because this was only the aftermath of it. He would be done easily but Jungkook still had these fantasied how his knot would form inside his sweet omega's leaking hole and he would plant his semen inside him that would create pups who would be just as cute and beautiful as their father was.

It was hard to live with Kookie who still was a little drunk on their ebbing rut and could not stop talking about how good it felt to finally express his knot in slurred words. But the worst thing about it was that he just did not know how to deal with Taehyung witnessing all these moments, all his firsts like knotting his toys, almost breaking them and his raging lust breaking free, making him act like a maniac while he was fighting for some relief to his agony.

With a feeling of immense awkwardness, he put his toys back in the drawer and especially this one toy, the one that he had no clue he had been using it but got a definite confirmation about from Taehyung, made it difficult for him to think of meeting his mate tomorrow. Would his butt cheeks feel the same under his fingers? When he parted them would they be soft and squishy, or would they be firm and muscular? He longed to feel the difference they would make to the silicone under his fingertips now and that he had to clean because obviously he had used this toy and released more than once inside of it. What would it be like when he filled his mate with his liquids?

With a slam Jungkook shut the drawer to ground himself. He already did not know how to behave when he would meet his lovely omega again. He definitely did not need to make it even worse when he had no excuse for jacking off while fantasizing to make sure that he would carry his pups soon.

Jungkook may have been a big badass alpha if he needed to, but he also had these insecurities inside of him that proved how much his human side was a shy boy. And right now, he was triggered so badly by his environment that seemed to lure his thoughts to the one and only topic all the time. But now he finally was able to leave this damn flat. The lock on the key safe had unlocked with a beep yesterday and so he grabbed his bag that he had dumped next to the door a little more than three days ago and while fleeing what was supposed to function as his safe place. As if the devil was after his soul, he hastily pulled his jacket over while he ran down the stairs not bothering to wait for the elevator. He loathed this apartment so much because it was solid proof of how much different he was from a regular alpha. Only he needed such a place to isolate from all the people around him because he would lose his mind every time, and his wolf would attack without second thoughts and even though Kookie was a sweet name there would be nothing sweet about a raging real alpha losing his sanity over his rut. He would not be able to tell friends from his enemies because all he cared about was to be near his mate and everybody else seemed to be an obstacle that had to be eliminated one way or another. The shock still was sitting deep inside of him when he found out that on his first rut, he had attacked his own father to kill and that Fangs barely succeeded in locking him up and got injured in the process because Kookie went wild. Jungkook knew that his wolf did not do it on purpose and that he was out of his mind but still he could not help it. He sometimes felt like a victim to his wolf. It made him feel bad because he knew that Kookie did not do anything out of ill intent. He too lost control over his instincts because that was their nature, and he had deeply apologized to him and Daehee.