BORDER

Chapter Eighteen

ANAKIN

It is pitch black when I open my eyes. Rubbing them, I clear my vision. It is all blue, green, and white around me. Swirls of colors and fine white sand float around me. I search around before looking directly down. My body lays beneath me, cold, and passed out from the curse Kano placed on me. I knew we were screwed because of the curse, but still I had hoped.

My eyes wander to Nerissa. She's staring, wide awake, at Kano. My stomach rolls at the sight of them together, the feeling of the cold sea feels like a trap. I hate it down here, I want nothing more

"Gods, don't hurt her please..." I whisper to myself. I can't go to her side, it's like there is a pane of glass in front of me. I pound against it — unable to hear them. It doesn't even budge the more I slam my fist into it. I glance downwards, wondering how to go back into my body.

Watching my unconscious body from beyond is truly the most terrifying experience of my life. It is agonizing to watch my life be gambled by my biggest enemy and how she decides to go about this is terrifying. I hate her and she hates me. There is no way she would willingly save me and there is no way that she knows about the curse Kano has given me.

I clench my teeth and look around me for anything that can help me out of this nightmare. Nerissa has been getting weaker these past few days, I could tell just a little bit. I am so screwed. She needed to be at peak power to get through this challenge. This is all my fault. I should've prepared myself and her more.

I hang my head in between my knees and rock back and forth, accepting this is my fate. I am going to die at the bottom of Kano's fucking ocean, this is my worst nightmare.

Feeling a feminine grip on my shoulder I go to push it away but the darkness is no longer as deep. My hand goes straight through a teal woman. She looks almost like water and it takes me a minute before my eyes adjust at the sight. I know those eyes, I will know those eyes anywhere.

"Mama?..." My voice whispers, almost too quiet to be heard even just between us.

Her dark hair curls at her face and I can't handle the sight of her smile. "Hello, my boy."

My chest aches so badly I almost let out the sob strangling my voice. "I miss you, you're gone and I-"

"Gone? No, I am always here with you, Anakin. My light, my soul, I have never left you."

I shake my head in denial. "I'm scared. Am I dead?"

"No, my light, you have to trust her. Sit back and watch."

Feeling her spirit all around me as she lights up with a rain of blue and green stars, it isn't as lonely like this. She caresses my hand and face, then with the last star, she soars upwards. I swear on Blade's life I watch her wink at me.

I feel the hot tears stream down my cheeks; with every tear, follows a snowflake. Sooner rather than later, the floor is no longer sand but snow. Suddenly, I am not in a foreign, unknown land, I am home. Home where the snow is deep and endless around me. I love snow, I always have since I was a young child.

As a child I enjoyed it because it didn't hurt me the way heat did, give it time and it will. The snow is so cold, it soothes me. I keep looking up at the sky, feeling her presence all around me. I would give her anything to hear her say one more thing to me before going into the sky. I cry and I cry, begging for her to come back. Eventually the stars get brighter, feeling as if she is signaling me to her. It felt like one of her hugs she used to give me as a babe.

She isn't mad at me. She isn't mad at all the punishments I have given myself. I am still her babe and at the end of the day, the warmth I am currently feeling, I have yet to feel that in decades. Not since she's died.

Not an ounce of disappointment was in her eyes. She is just happy to see her babe one last time.

I feel like a failure. I felt as if I had failed her even though she didn't say it. I missed her so much and this entire time she was watching over me. Taking care of me. She liked Nerissa which was a grand sign but I had no thanks to give to the gods besides Blade. She was gone because of them. So, I had nothing to be grateful for besides seeing her one last time as I watched Nerissa prepare to risk her life for me.