WITHOUT YOU

part 67

"Today is my wedding with whom I love till now with every breath but you know what till now I didn't saw him. Isn't it sound funny and sad at the same time. He didn't even come when our marriage date is going to fix. Maybe he is too much busy..... But I am really excited because from today onward I am going to live my dream life. I am going to marry the person I love most. I am so happy that can't even explain in my words,"

"You believe me dear diary, if I tell you I am writing this on my weeding night. Finally at wedding I got to see him. You know he is so much handsome. Look like Greek God. But when our eyes meet his eyes screaming something that I can't able to understand. He didn't speak a word to me and finally we come to his room. My dream room as his wife. But maybe all dreams are not bound to be fulfilled. This is not what I dreamed about all these years. He refused to accept me in his coldest tone. He called me burden and that kind of words which really ripped my heart........ My breath just stuck hearing his words. I want to cry but I can't show myself as weak. So I do what I feel right. As I also had some self respect.  I can clearly see anger in his eyes and face which make me afraid..........I don't know what will happen. What if he decided to divorce me????......Then its finaly I don't want to live anymore. But still I have to be hope full,"

Jk caress the page where he can see dry tears which clearly showing tae was crying while writing this. A tear also fall from jk eyes. His heart started to felt heavy but still he continued to read

"How time flies, its already two weeks of our wedding. Still there is not a little bit change in him. He everytime show me my place which has not existed in his life. He always called me burden. Its really hurt but still I fight back with him.........,"

"Dear diary, I month passed. Whole one month without a single soft gaze, soft talk, any soft gasture which give me hope. His behaviour is so cold and rude toward everyone not only me. He didn't respect his mom, dad or juminie hyungie. Well jhope is the only one he care a little bit.........today he really misbehave with all which make everyone sad. But I promise everyone that I will bring back the old jungkook.......ahhh I don't know how I will do it when he didn't even look at me. Maybe by provoking him as I already saw he get frustrated easily,"

"Today, he adds more in my misery. He try to forced himself on me when I almost slept. I can still feeling his touches on my skin. His kisses on my neck. I swear, I loved it if only he did it with love. But he try to do it with hater............I am sure that monster friend of his behind all this. I meet that felix and his gaze on me give me disgusting feeling. At time I only wish my husband was beside me and make me feel save. But I know this will never going to happen"

Like that in tae diary tae had written every feeling of his which he never want to show to anyone. Even he write how whole family love him and care for him. He write how he provoked jk and now jk started to go to office which make everyone happy.

Jk read how many nights tae didn't sleep in his sorrow. How many time tae didn't had his dinner to had it with him but he didn't come home and if he come he refused tae harshly.......... tae also mantion how he feel when he got yo know that jk got into an accident. And how he just ready to sacrifice his whole existence just to save his love

"I must be sonud like a teenager girl but I can't control it now. You know my precious secret keeper, as jungkook leg is not recovered yet so he work from home. And now a days, I am seeing different kind of emotions in his eyes whenever he liok at me. Many time I found him staring at me when I take care of jimin hyung and other family. This make my heart flutter. I just love it,"

"Today he apologies to his mom dad from his all past deeds. I am so happy that will able to bring back the kook all love. All really live me and thanked my because they all think me as an angel.....,"

"Ahhhh we are about to kiss. My heart will come out just thinking of this. Someone please help me. He is making me again live him. The jungkook

Jk read how day by day tae started to change him without even he know. How he stop going to clubs and his meeting with felix also lessen. With tae every word jk is crying now. He can feel how his action and word hurt tae. Now he realised how much he broke tae little innocent love. But still that innocent boy forgive him

Jk read every single thing tae write in his personal diary. He read how jk confess to him and promised to keep him him safe. Tae write how jk little love gestures started to make him feel tingled. He even write about their magical first kiss, first love making. He write how much he love when jk take care of him and pampering him

Tae even write about felix. How he try to touch him.how tae had all doubts on felux about jk past also

But he still afraid, what if jk didn't believe him. He just want to solve all the thing without jk know so he hire yoongi for this case.

After reading every single words, finally jk close the diary and hugged it. Non stop tears are falling from his eyes. He feeling to kill himself by making tae suffer like that all alone. He is hating himself. He is really a beast to treat tae on his wedding night like that. Where every newly wed couple make that night the most memorable, jk make that night most horrible for tae. Maybe that night still hunt tae.

Jk get up from chair and  put tae diary back on its place. He took his car key and left the silent mansion while crying

"I hate myself to hurt you like that my tae. I am really sorry," jk thought while crying and driving