Saturn [BELLAMY BLAKE BOOK 1]

16... where is my mind

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Chapter Sixteen

Bellamy rushed out of the depot, the air feeling like it was getting thicker and thicker, making it harder for him to breathe. He emerged out from the doors and stumbled out for a breath of fresh air. He heaved in and out, doubling over, like the wind had been knocked out of him.

His relationship with Ivy had taken a turn for a worse. He didn't want to leave on bad terms, but what was he supposed to do? Stay because of some feelings that he didn't even know were real or honest? Or because of a couple kisses exchanged between him and his best friend? Ivy was supposed to be nothing more than his sister's best friend, something more would ruin what was already good between them. But after what just happened, Bellamy guessed that maybe whatever it was they had was now just a couple of broken pieces under his feet.

His lips still burned from where hers had touched him. For a split second, he probably could've convinced himself to stay. In the moments when they were wrapped up in each other's arms, Bellamy was in no state of mind to fight Ivy's pull. She had so much power for him and he was resisting it despite the fact that every fiber of his being wanted to give into her. There was no part of him that truly wanted to leave, he was just doing what he had to in order to survive. Then again, what was really the point in living if he couldn't be with the people he cared about most?

The thoughts running through his mind were enough to drive him crazy, and he didn't feel far from it either. A headache pierced into his head and adding dizziness, it all was enough to have Bellamy staggering for something to balance himself on. He tried to blink the fatigue away, crouching down with his head in his hands. The blurriness soon began to subside, and a figure caught his eye, making Bellamy freeze where he was.

"Bellamy Blake." A few feet in front of him stood Chancellor Jaha, his hands held over his stomach where Bellamy had shot him to get to Earth. It didn't matter how many times Bellamy opened and closed his eyes, or how hard he dug his fingernails into his skin, the image never changes. It was Jaha who he was seeing, but Jaha couldn't be in front of him because he was on the Ark. And yet, there he was, speaking to him.

Voicing his thoughts, Bellamy stood up shakily, still trying to focus his blurry vision."How are you here? You're on the Ark."

"You shot me on the Ark." Jaha snapped, anger laced within his voice. "But I've been waiting for you." Taking his hands off his stomach, Jaha let the blood run freely, creating a crimson red stain on his pale shirt.

Bellamy swallowed back the fear rising in the back of his throat. "I did what I had to do." He told Jaha, shifting his feet.

"To protect Octavia and Ivy. Pathetic." Jaha spat, shaking his head in disgust. "Using your sister and friend to justify your crimes, your cruelty, your selfishness."