The Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Ren

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"Wait...so...you've been at it for how long?"
"Ten exact years..."
"And then she told you that she likes girls?"
"Pretty much..."
"Wow...that is...uhhh...pretty...pretty sad"
"I can tell you're going to laugh,kid"
"I...was about to...but I don't want to rub salt on the wound"
"Oh please...time heals all wounds"
"I don't know,this wound doesn't seem to have healed" Ren shrugs,holding a can of soda in his hand,"gotta say..." Ren grins,ice forming in the palm of the hand he was holding the soda with,he opened it with his other hand,making a pop sound before taking a sip,"this ice stuff rocks,it's like I'm a walking fridge,the summer heat is never getting to me now!"
"Good...that means I don't have to use the air conditioner as much" Kishibe nods in approval,"I know who to ask whenever I need ice for my booze now,you're finally useful,kid" he hands Ren his cup of brandy,Ren takes it and forms an ice cube,the ice cube fell on the cup,making the Brandy ripple,"all we need is a fire devil,and we're set for life!"
"Hm...I do appreciate a cost-efficient kid,means I can spend more money on booze"
"You're so lazy,you know that?" Ren rolls his eyes,"Wait...where's Makima-San right now?"
"What? Wanna pay her a visit to snitch on me?"
"No,I heard she's going on a trip"
"Yeah...Enoshima,let me guess,you want to come along?"
"And let you have the house all to yourself? I don't think so" Ren stands up,looking through the window,"hm...since Makima-San is on vacation,that means less surveillance,and a whoooole lot more hero time!" Ren grins excitedly,"you won't snitch,will you?" He turns to look at Kishibe,who was passed out on the couch,"oh well...all the better if you ask me!"
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"What is it that you don't get,you old fart?" A yakuza member in an expensive suits hits an old man's leg with a wooden sword,making the old man go down on one knee,"give us the money!"
"I don't have it,please!" The old man begs for mercy,"just give me some time"
"Not happening...if you don't pay up,we're gonna take that pretty little daughter of yours and put her to good use"
"no,please leave her alone,she's just a college student!"
"She's old enough" the gangster chuckles,"boys,break his kneecaps!"
"You got it!" Two gangsters try to approach the old man,as soon as they got close,two webs stuck to their suits,pulling them upwards,"what the?" The guy with the sword looks up,only to find that one of the yakuza members fell on top of him,the two were knocked out cold,while the third guy was hanging upside-down,a web was tied around his ankles,his wallet fell out of his suit jacket,landing right in front of the old man,"who...was that?"

"Somebody help,He took my purse!"
"Out of the way!" a thief was running with a ladies purse,as he ran,a web shot out towards his heel,pulling it back and making him trip,falling flat on his face and dropping the purse,the web shot out towards the purse,pulling it up upwards,the purse then fell towards the woman,she caught it in just time,"w-what?"

"Stop the car,now!" The police were chasing a man who was driving a stolen car,and he was speeding away recklessly,not caring for anyone who might get hurt in the way,then all of a sudden,the car started sliding around,the road was slippery all of a sudden,as if it was covered in ice,the car threatened to flip over,and it did,but before it can hit the floor,it got stuck to massive nest,keeping it from going anywhere,"what the hell?" The driver was shocked,and the police were now closing in on him,"huh? Would you look at that" one of the officers stepped out of his car,"Tanimura...you seeing this?"
"Yep...we ain't dreamin' or nothin'..."

"Numerous reported  of a mysterious individual stopping robberies,extortions,and even devil attacks,eye-witnesses state that the individual is a male in a black mask,most often sighted wearing a hoodie aswell..."

"He protected  me and my child from a devil attack!"

"He stopped a whole entire bus from falling off a bridge!"

"About time we had someone stand up against those scummy yakuza,he's been making them with their tails tucked between their legs!"

"Grrrr...why can't I take the spotlight?" Venom pouts at the TV screen,"relax,dude...if you make it on the news,you'll end up just like Denji,and we don't want an Assassin situation on our hands again,do we?"
"I suppose you are correct...I'm not so foolish to paint a target on our back"
"See? So just let me handle this!" Ren grins,their talk interrupted by the sound of the door opening, revealing Kishibe walking in with a cat box in hand,Ren immediately switched the channel as soon as he walked in,"hey,kiddo...I got you something" Kishibe sets the box down,opening it up and letting Nyako out,"Nyako?" Ren smiles,walking up to her before crouching to lift her up,"what's Nyako doing here?"
"Aki is going on a trip,and he's taking Denji and Power with him,they needed someone to look after their kitty while they were gone"
"Hehe...we're gonna have so much fun,Nyako!" Ren giggles,spinning it around before cradling it and patting the kitty's head

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