Obsessed

four | perplexed

June

I'm only six feet away from Amirlya. I watch her write in her journal, having yet to notice my presence. Someday I'll get my hands on that book, but today I had other plans.

Announcing my arrival with a fake cough, she looks up then quickly looks down, closing her book and biting her bottom lip as her eyebrows furrow.

She doesn't even know the affect this has on me.

I take my seat right next to her, she scoots away like I'll kidnap her, not that I won't, but just not right now.

She knows better than to leave.

"I need to talk to you." She doesn't say anything but instead hesitates before slowly nodding. Looking down at her shoes, she avoids eye contact with me. I on the other hand, can't remember the last time I blinked.

"I've taken the time to ponder upon my behavior and I believe it's time to move forward" I state. Her expression slightly the same yet I can tell she's perplexed by these all of a sudden confession.

"You're tired, and I'm tired." Tired of her ignoring me, I never wanted our relationship to end up like this anyways, what happened happened, but I was willing to change my act for what I've been longing for since the day I saw her.

I continue, "The deal is, I'll be more lenient on you, that is, if you're willing to ya know, get to know me better and give me the chance to proof that I'm a good guy."

It's then she looks at me like I've grown two heads. Her eyes widen a little and an awkward silence engulfs the atmosphere before she decides to speak up.

"Y-you want to change? After everything you've done to me?" She's telling not saying, and unfortunately, I don't think this conversation is going the way I imagined it when I rehearsed it in the bathroom.

Amirlya

The first time I discovered the existence of June Vatican was in the ninth grade, when he randomly decided to throw punches at my homecoming date. I was stunned to say the least. After that day, I didn't go to the dance. I actually didn't go to any dance in high school.

And I believe it was all because of him.

Now he's sitting next to me, without my permission, stating nonsense that I don't even for a second believe is true. June? Good guy? Those words don't belong in the same sentence.

I don't know what he does to feed his delusions but it was getting to a point where I was close to finding my own means to get rid of him.

June is incapable of change, he's made my life a living hell, practically forcing me to abide my his rules. I curse the universe for making me go through it all.

His  possessiveness grew over the years and now I feel like I'm enslaved, which makes it even worse cause he's white, yes white. A white man has the audacity to control me. Yet I let him, cause even though I enjoy my freedom, his dominance is like a spell. I swear!

Everything he says, I do. I'm naturally submissive to him, but I'm never like that to anyone else. My body almost always freezes around him and I get gut wrenching moths in my stomach in his presence.

Most times I don't know whether to hate myself or June, but majority of the blame falls on him.

"Look I'm sorry okay? I know I haven't been the best person to you, but c'mon, don't be stubborn." He scoots closer, and I want to scoot even further but I'll find myself on the floor if I do.

"I don't know what to say, I don't think you're being serious." I state, it's all I know what to respond with.

It's a random Monday morning and I'm already dealing with his bullshit. If June wasn't crazy, I'd probably like him. From his very tall lean build, deep green eyes, to pink lips, he's handsome. No doubt about that. His personality though? Shit. Absolute shit.

I used to believe that he did all this maniac shit cause he liked me. That was until around junior year when I saw him with Sandra Gullock. She is tall, rich, blonde, always dressed in designer from head to toe. She is of his social class and from their arms in lock with each other that day, they seemed to be a couple.

At this point I didn't know what his intentions were and are with me. One day I see him with Sandra and just less than an hour later he'd be bothering me.

I spent the five minutes of the conversation in thought, not bothering to catch his words. The doors of the classrooms open and students come flooding out. I take this opportunity to quickly get up and scurry, thanking the universe for freeing me and then cursing it again when I realize I have him in my next lecture.