Fairy Tail: Falling Towards the Chaos

Chapter 28

Lucy refused to even glance at the packaged gifts and letters sitting idly on her table. Instead of facing the truth, she began sweeping and tidying up her apartment a bit. Happy had gone out to the guild to try and charm Carla once more, while Natsu wandered off somewhere. Sitting on her hands and knees, she scrubbed the bathroom tiles; making sure every inch of her humble abode was sparkly clean. She didn't doubt the capability of her generous landlord, but to feel more at ease and take her mind off things, she decided to clean.

She yawned, a bit tired from last night's activities because somehow, the guild managed to jam pack seven years worth of drinking, partying, and laughter into one night to no one's surprise. She felt a smile grace her face as she stood up from the clean white tiles, wringing off the rag in the sink. The only thing left to do was to prepare herself some lunch; act normal, as if she hadn't missed out on seven years of her life. A fact she wasn't quite ready to face just yet.

Still, she hadn't gone grocery shopping and the tiny fridge was a bit barren besides some emergency vegetables she picked up in the early morning. Shrugging to herself, she got to work making a small salad to eat and picked out a book from the shelf next to her desk.

Yet, as the blonde mage finally settled on her bed after a long two days with her book and small bowl of salad with a sigh, she was surprised to hear the front door opening with haste; slamming shut after a moment.

"Natsu?" She called out and a grunt could be heard as the Dragon Slayer made his way up the stairs.

Lucy frowned, watching as her male companion headed straight for the kitchenette in the corner and grab a banana. He peeled it and chewed aggressively, plopping himself down next to her on the bed. She knew him enough to know that he sneaked off to meditate, to calm himself, like what she'd done with cleaning.

They ate in silence, no words spoken, until Lucy's bowl was empty and Natsu had taken their things to the trash. When he sat down next to her again, she couldn't suppress the urge to talk about what was plaguing them both.

"It's weird, isn't it?" She mumbled, feeling the short, stubby bun at the top of her head loosen — until the locks fell, framing her face. At the sound of her voice, Natsu fell back onto the comfy mattress they'd both come to love, and Lucy eagerly followed his lead, letting her hair splay out around her head like a halo.

"Among other things," he muttered, staring up at the ceiling.

"Well, we were frozen on an island for seven years," Lucy drawled, stretching her arms high above her head, reaching for the ceiling.

"We saw Zeref and defeated Grimoire Heart," Natsu added.

"Yes, that too, plus the entire trial was interrupted as well as infiltrated by the Magic Council,"

"Sneaky bastards,"

"But hey, at least we were together, right?" Lucy giggled slightly, rolling onto her stomach next to Natsu. Leaning forward on her elbows, she peered at his face; only to notice his eyes were closed, which made her pout. She waited a moment before she poked at his face impatiently, but it was clear he was set on ignoring her. She huffed, rolling her shoulders back, sneaking a glance at the table in the corner lined with large gift boxes and letters.

"We missed out on seven years," Lucy whispered, hands moving to hold her head, "years we're never going to get back. I feel misplaced."

"Fairy Tail is no longer a powerhouse but a needle in the haystack, barely remembered outside of Magnolia," Lucy continued, "what do we do? Continue on like nothing ever happened? It's just not possible."

"We move on like we always do," Natsu replied bluntly, eyes closed, ending the conversation.

-----

As she expected; moving on was not so easy.

After spending a few weeks back in Magnolia, the guild had transformed back into a sense of normalcy, but she could still feel the shift. She stayed at home often, feeling too anxious to leave her four walls, only ever leaving for food or the occasional mission to collect money for her monthly spending.

Lucy groaned, twisting in her bedsheets, deep in her sleep, before her pink comforter was abruptly ripped off of her. Her pale skin exposed to the cool air, she shivered, rubbing her eyes as she searched for the blanket thief.

"Get up," Natsu commanded, standing by the edge of her bed, looming over her small sleepy frame.

She grumbled, kicking out her leg at him, blindly gathering her blanket to wrap it around her body once more.

"C'mon Lucy! You've been in this funk for weeks now," Happy frowned. He stood a few feet behind Natsu, face filled with concern for the blonde mage who'd practically locked herself up for the past few weeks.

How could she even to begin to describe her anxieties? That she felt displaced in the world? Or that her father had --

"Why are you scared to face reality, Lucy?" Natsu asked, bending down to kneel next to the bed. He laid one hand on the mattress and patiently awaited her response.

She felt stunned and couldn't help it as she bit her lip worriedly. She only squeezed the blanket to herself tighter.

"The guild -- it's not the same, but the people, the energy -- it's all still there," Natsu spoke quietly, "I know those seven years are gone, and we can't get them back, but we have to keep moving forward in life. You can't keep avoiding it, Lucy."

"I want to avoid it. I want to act like those seven years aren't gone, I want to see the familiar workers at the magic shop and fishermen in the canal, I want to be able to relate to those we had left behind all those years -- look at poor Romeo -- hell, we even missed Bisca and Alzack's wedding!" Lucy rambled, burying her face in the blankets, "I want to be able to face it head on, but I can't deny the fact that I'm scared. I come back to my apartment, find it fully paid off, only to know that -- "

She choked up, eyes furiously blinking back the tears that rose to the surface. Happy looked up at her with concern, but she refused to acknowledge the raw show of emotions.

"He's dead, and I hate him, but I feel so conflicted," she mutter bitterly as a tear slipped down her face, "how can you mourn someone you hate, who treated you horribly throughout your life, yet they apologize after years, finally realizing the trauma they inflicted on you in the end?" Lucy turned briefly, eye-to-eye with Natsu who growled lowly at the sight of her tears.

"I hate him for everything he's done, but those letters, the countless apologies and gifts he left; it makes me question things," she confessed.

Natsu reached out his hand and stroked her cheek a bit roughly, unsure but wanting to provide comfort.

"I think, you should allow yourself to feel however you want to feel," he concluded. So, when she cried, she muffled her sobs into her blanket. Turning away but still within reach so Natsu could continue petting her silently.

Happy's ears pressed downwards at the sound of her sobs, and Natsu continued to stroke her hair as best as he could. There was a difficult road ahead of them, and Lucy needed Natsu to help her through it.

The real question was: could she do it?

To be continued...