The Girl In The Dirty Shirt Noel Version

Chapter 146

I groaned twisting with a stretch, squeezing my eyes shut before I opened them, blinking against the harsh fluorescents.
I turned my head as my eyes focused; Noel was sitting next to the bed watching me.

"How bad was it?" I asked, my voice was thick and my nose hurt.

"It was bad..."

I sighed closing my eyes as he continued

"Y'almost died, Lyla..." he said quietly "If I hadn't have come home when I did..."

He stopped and I opened my eyes again to look at him.

"You need help, Ly..." he spoke "This time y'barely made it to the fuckin' hospital...I can't watch y'keep doin' this t'yourself. You're not gonna have a next time..."

"You want me to go to rehab?" I asked "After the stick you give it?" I teased a little

"I'm not jokin' Ly an' I ain't talkin' about rehab either" he shook his head "I'm talkin' about just gettin' away, away from all of this, from the lifestyle; just you an' I an'..."

"Not Jack," I shook my head "I don't want him to see me like that...just...ask your mom to watch him until..." I stopped swallowing hard "Until we get home..."

"Lyla, that's-"

"I don't care, Noel!" I yelled "I've seen what withdrawal does to people; he doesn't need to see that!"

He nodded shushing me "I'll talk t'mam, alright?"

I bit down on my lip and nodded slowly "Thank you."

**

The next morning they released me from the hospital after a bitch session with the doctors on my part and Noel's promise to not let me out of his sight.
Noel had gone home to get me a change of clothes and take Jack to Peggy's. I stood in the small bathroom off of my hospital room and stared at my reflection in the mirror.
Noel's words from the argument we'd had a week or so ago, rang in my ears.

"You don't even look like yourself..."

I did look like myself, just a version of myself that Noel hadn't seen before, the version of myself that I was used to. A reflection I haven't seen since I'd first left Toronto; then it was depression and an abusive boyfriend, this time it was drugs...lots of drugs.
I pulled on the hoodie Noel had brought for me, my favourite hoodie of his and sighed pushing my hair back; he hadn't brought me a hair elastic like I asked so my hair came to rest in the middle of my back.

There was a soft knock on the door and Noel's voice came muffled from the other side.

"Lyla?" He asked "Babe?"

I frowned at myself in the mirror looking over my shoulder, he never called me babe.

I turned around and opened the door. Noel was leaning against the door frame, worry etched into his features.

"I'm okay..." I spoke quietly touching his face

He shook his head as I dropped my hand.

"Far from it, love..."

I sighed "But you haven't given up on me..."

"I walked-"

"But you came back..." I cut him off "If you didn't care you wouldn't be here"

**

Noel had found some little house in the country for us to stay, away from the city, away from the band, away from everything.

I walked into the tiny house behind him and sat on the couch as he put our bags down.
I closed my eyes leaning back on the couch pushing my fingers through my hair.