The worker // FREENBECKY

50

BECKY POV

My job is quite hard when it's situations like these, some things are so hard to deal with, when your sitting in court and your listening to what a child has gone through you sit and wonder how can people be so evil in this world. How could you hurt vulnerable people or your own child? it hurts me to know that there are people like that in this world.

You cannot cry in court, they told us if we do feel overwhelmed we must leave for a few seconds and then come back but I try my best to brace myself. All that comes to my mind is riley, if she even got a scratch on her I wouldn't let her go home and these other social workers had failed this child luckily when I stepped in I took him away straight away.

Some social workers are so shit are their job, I could honestly say I'm proud that I saved this little boys life and didn't let him go home as soon as I saw his face, I don't even wanna rethink or talk about the abuse he had endured, all I do know is that as someone who takes care and loves riley dearly it hit me hard. I want to be a good mother, I want her to never feel unwanted or unloved.

Today 3 social workers lost their jobs, I realised that I can't leave this job even if it gets hard and it hurts, I saved a little boys life when his parents could of hurt him to the extent where he could of lost his life, I need to save people, I need to save these innocent children who don't deserve this.

I really hope riley knows I love her, I'm gonna call her and tell her she's the best little girl in the world and I love her so she never has to doubt that nobody in this world loves her, I know she knows Freen loves her but Irin is who she came out of and there isn't an ounce of love between them. I'm sure irin loves her and I'm sure riley loves her but not the way you should love your mom, it's sad because there is potential there and I don't mean to interrupt them but the time I saw her in the restaurant I couldn't stop from running to see her when she cried.

I tried to keep myself braced but when I saw her in tears I just wanted to protect her.

After such a long day I'm back home, it's so lonely here, I don't invite friends around, I don't respond to group chats and I avoid all high school reunions and if you asked me why I did that I wouldn't be able to answer but I guess that's who I am. I like my alone time and that's always been my excuse but coming back home to an empty house as it's dead silent when riley's house was so lively and I laughed until my stomach hurts it just feels shit.

Mom: can I come over?

Becky: no

Mom: I want to apologise

Becky: you can do that on text, stay away from me please

Mom: I am really sorry, I miss my little girl a lot

Becky: you lost me a long time ago mom, I'm sorry but you have your three sons, leave me alone

Mom: don't say that Becky, I know I failed you as a mom but I want to be better

*blocked*

Ah that felt good to do, I shouldn't hold a grudge with my mom but when your at home alone with your thoughts and you realise that you didn't need to be lonely because you had a person who loved you and the reason you can't be with them is because of your family it fucking hurts like hell, especially when I don't fuck with my brothers of my parents on a regular basis why should they interfere with my life?

I'm a grown ass woman? I want to find my brother and hit him with a frying pan for thinking he had the right to hit Freen.

Dad: Your mom is crying, can you let this go?