FML - Fuck My Life (rantbook)

My mum

Long time, no see!

Starting at once, I basically hate my mum right now. It feels like she's doing everything in her power just to make me feel as bad as possible. Or sad. Or depressed. All three of the options fits. This time, it started when I came home from football (soccer) practice. I started just as usual by hanging up my sweaty clothes and then we were going to eat. Mum had made broccoli soup and I'm really not a fan of that. When my family and I sat down around the table, my mum took my boul to fill it with soup but I stopped her and said I didn't want any. Her reaction was to start raising her voice at once and saying how that was the food we had tonight (even though we had sandwiches too) and something like "what is wrong with you these days? You never want to eat anything anymore". I only replied with that I never really liked broccoli soup and she knew that but she got even angrier and put down my boul  very loudly and said that I could "eat this or go to bed without food". Under my breath I said that I rather would that than sit there with her.

Then, when I had eaten the - in my opinion - horrible soup, I stood up to get something to have on my sandwich from a cabinet and when I came back she told me to put it back away. Of course I asked her why and she said that "we already have salami and … (I don't remember what it was) so you don't need that". I told her I didn't want salami but she snatched my other option out of my hand, put it in the cabinet and told me to sit back down.

Don't get me wrong, I really like salami, but tonight I just wanted something even better. But my mum won the fight and I put just another thing on my list of things that are eating me from the inside.

After that I didn't talk much, just ate in silence. But of course my dear mother needed to speak up again. "Don't think you can come home and be all grumpy when we did nothing to you, Sofia." And she said something about me being lazy and wanting others to do things for me, too, and apparently I give nothing in return. She's a fucking hypocrite because she's always telling me and my siblings how hard it is for her and how she's doing everything and we do nothing, but we do! We fucking do, but she only sees all the stuff that she does and forgets how much we actually do for her. And the thing about me being grumpy without her having done anything is hypocitical too, because only minutes after she told me off, she started arguing with my dad over some small thing and he didn't do anything for her to raise her voice at him.

And later we were going to watch a movie together, the whole family, and I took my phone out just to turn it into flight mode so I wouldn't be bothered by people trying to reach me. She saw my phone and snatched it right out of my hand and put it beside her on a little table beside the sofa. Then she said something like "I'm so tired of you using your phone all the time. You can't even put it away for five seconds. We're going to watch this movie now, nothing else". Of course I told her why I was using my phone but she just sat quiet and didn't look at me. So I asked her to give my phone back so I could finish what I started but she told me that I could have it back after the movie. I got angry and said that I didn't even want to watch the film and so she told me - very angrily, I might add - that if I didn't, I could go to bed instead. So I took my phone from the table to take it with me but she yelled at me that I didn't need my phone when I only was going to sleep. Again I told her that I was just going to put it to flight mode and then I went to my room and slammed the door shut.

And now, here I am, lying on my bed trying to get this off my chest before I do something stupid. Thanks for - in a way - helping me.

Love you

~Sofia