hatred {editing}

[50] Is This The End? (pt.1)

➳Luke

Earlier that evening...

It really sucks getting your heart broken for the first time. Especially if it's with your first love. Great, now I'm becoming soft. But, that's what love does to you, right?

I figured that there was going to be some post-breakup anger because that's who I was. Instead of dealing with my problems and figuring out the nicest way possible, I replaced it with anger. I guess that's why I was so rude to Emily when we first met.

I was so mad because of what happened when Mia left without saying goodbye that I let out all my anger out on Emily. I never really knew that much about her either, I ruined my first impression with her even though we had met before. But I didn't realize what I did to her would bring us, our relationship, to where we are now. It brought us together and I wouldn't have changed any of it.

Emily and I have been through thick and thin with each other. No one ever actually thought though that we'd actually be in a romantic relationship together ever, unlike our mothers who saw it from the start.

But, we've learned so much about each other and been through everything together. I just cannot believe that it just ended like that, like everything we've been through just disappeared.

All this seemed like the wrong time too because I wanted to be the one to take her prom and see her wear a beautiful dress that I would never see her ever wear. She's not much of a dress person. Even with graduation coming up, not to mention Emily's birthday. I really wanted to do something special for her.

Ever since the breakup I just felt so miserable. As anyone would if their heart was shattered into a million pieces. I felt like all of sudden the world hated me after all the goodness that it has brought me.

I know that she's been miserable too. I can see it in her eyes and the way that she never smiles at me or anyone for that matter. Whenever she looks my way, the light in her eyes just fade.

I didn't understand why? She was the one who broke up with me, it was her decision. If she didn't want this, why? Why did she break up with me in the first place? It would have relieved her of all the pain that it has brought the both of us.

Did the thought of me bring her sadness? I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to do. But still, I love her, I know I do.

"I thought for this song we'd slow it down a bit." Calum said dramatically as we all laughed. Michael then took his guitar and started tuning it.

This was yet another band rehearsal session because I guess that's pretty much what we did on spring break. This whole week gave us time to actually create more songs than we ever did before.

Plus, the girls had some great input. Well, not all of them were present. Emily was locked away in her room. I didn't know why she didn't want to leave her room. Was it because of me? I didn't want her to feel miserable on her spring break. We're all supposed to have fun.

"We created a couple of songs I might say," Ashton said, "and we would like to share some of our ideas with you lovely ladies."

"I like to criticize." Reagan nodded, "Show us what you got."

Michael nodded towards Calum. "We haven't really come up with a full song yet but we thought of this idea." Calum said, "We have a tune but we don't know the lyrics quite yet."

Michael started strumming a soft tune. I, on the other hand was just idling by as well as Ashton because we hadn't figured out if there was going to be any drum beats in this song or if it was just better acoustic.