I'm Yours

Chapter 11: What Is This?

Chapter 11: What is this?
Sneaking out early isn't ever the smartest or the mature thing to do. I know that Nate would be really pissed off when he finds out but I just need to get out of this house.
I had texted Sophie after hours of trying to get some sleep although I just ended up moving around too much. She was parked just by the gate waiting for me which was about a five minute run. We had both planned to go out for some coffee and breakfast to try and calm the alcohol that was passing through our system. I chucked on a pair of jeans, a tank top with a hoddie and put on some doc martins and grabbed my phone and bag for today. I quickly grab a small piece of paper and write to Nate that I got a lift from Sophie and that there is no need to wait for me. I then quietly leave my room trying not to make too much noise. I hurried down the stairs and slipped out the front door without anyone getting up and ran towards the gate.
By the time I had gotten into Sophie's car I was breathing heavily and sweating. Sophie raises her eyebrows as she drove away from the house noticing my worried look.
"What's up? You seemed pretty distressed on the phone." She glances over to me with worried eyes.
"I kissed him, well actually he kissed me." I say in a hurry still out of breath
"You what?!" Sophie squeals and hits the brakes pulling the car into an immediate stop on the side of the road. She turns her full attention to me and grabs my shoulders shaking me frantically. "So I'm guessing you told him how you feel about him?" She grins.
"Not exactly" I frown turning my head to look out the window, "I'll tell you when we get some food. I'm starving."
Sophie takes us to a nearby diner called Ricky's. The place looks comfortable as we take our seats at a booth in the corner. I check my phone and see its only 5:30 in the morning. My brain was literally telling me to drink coffee to calm my nerves or at least to stay awake for the rest of the day.
"So? Did you tell him?" Sophie pesters me smiling.
"No..." I frown looking at my intertwined fingers.
"So what did you say to him?" I lift my gaze to Sophie and sigh as I lean back into the chair.
"I pretty much told him that I was sick of seeing his face and said he was the reason I was away from my family." Sophie gasps as I nod at her reaction, "I know. I feel like a bitch for saying that to him."
"I'd blame the alcohol honey" she chuckles shaking her head, "but I guess in a way you expressed how you felt about for the past couple of months. And yet he still kissed you?"
The memory of his sweet soft lips pressed against mine invaded my thoughts. The way he had held me close...
"Did you at least like it?" She asked. I didn't want to lie to her because she was practically the only friend I have. So I answered with, "Yeah. It felt great." I smile not denying the fact that I had enjoyed every single second.
"Although I had ended it after asking about the girl he was with." I tell her while looking at the menu.
"Well what did he tell you?"
"I didn't really give him time to explain so I told him to leave." I groan sinking back into the seat. A guy that looked a couple years older than us stopped by our table with a pen and paper ready in his hands. He was quite handsome with long blond hair and slightly tanned skin. He seemed oddly familiar though.
"Hi are you guys ready to order?" He asks looking from Sophie then resting his brown eyes onto me. I avert my eyes back to the menu to hope that he stops looking at me.
"Hazel?" Sophie asks. I look at her and see that the both of them are looking at me for my answer.
"Yeah umm sorry, I'll get the scrambled eggs with bacon and toast and also a cappuccino thank you." I smile him and turn my attention back to my phone. It won't be long now before Nate wakes up and realises I'm not there. As the waiter walks away Sophie turns to me and says.
"He's in our literature lectures. I don't know his name though but I usually see him here every now and then, which reminds me we need to leave straight after breakfast. Do you have your bag and everything you need?" she asks as I nod my head. The guy comes back with our coffees and sets them down smiling at us as he walks away.
"How are you feeling?" Sophie asks I guess as she is referring to the small hangover I am now experiencing.
"I just need to drink my coffee. I have a little bit of a headache." I groan shutting my eyes for a second. Sophie pulls out a little box from her bag and gives me two tablets.
"It's Advil, it will help with the headache" she smiles.
As we finish our breakfast we get our things and head over to the counter to pay for our food. Sophie tips the waiter and walks out the door. I reach into my pocket and hand him a twenty.
"I'm sorry I didn't quite get your name?" He asks just as I had him the tip.
"My names Hazel, we have literature together." I smile holding out my hand to shake his.
"I'm Harry; it's nice to meet you. I guess I'll see you in class later." He returns a welcoming smile back to me. I rush out the door and get back into the car with Soph.
"What was that?" She asks starting up the car.
"Oh nothing he was just introducing himself."
"Hmmm okay, well we don't want to be late so let's go!" She grins as we make our way to the campus. I know I am so dead when I see Nate later.
The both of us quickly hurry to our lecture and take a seat in the middle of the class. And in the row behind us is Harry getting his books ready.
During our note taking as I usually do I sweep my hair into a ponytail and look around for my spare pen which has gone missing. 'Just great' I think to myself. Right before I'm about to let go of my hair and forget about it, I feel someone tap my shoulder and as I look behind me I see Harry holding a pencil out towards me telling me to take it. I smile and mouth thank you, however I feel really freaked out that he sees me do my hair.
The day drags on a with Sophie's keen eye she helps me avoid Nate for the rest of the day but I know I will have to go back home with him.
Finally our last class finishes and I'm kind of anxious to see Nate for some unknown reason. Just as walk outside I can already feel his eyes burning into me. But I'm stopped by someone. I look up to see Harry there smiling at me.
"Oh hi!" I grin and take in his appearance. He looks really... how to put this, he looks cute but not as amazing and hot as Nate.
Holy moly did I just think that?
I pull out the pencil that still remains in my hair and pass it to him.
"Thank you so much for lending it to me. It would have been a pain to have my hair in my face all day" I laugh.
"It wasn't a problem really." He grins taking the pencil from my hands.
As I look to my right and see Nate with a furious look lingering on his face.
"Well I'll see you around. Thank you again." I turn away from him and walk towards Nate. He doesn't say anything when I get to him. He just walks away towards his car and I follow closely behind him.
Unfortunately there are at least ten reporters and their camera men surround us blocking the entrance from the car. Nate slows down and grabs my hand pulling me away from them. They all start to shout out their questions, some are directed to Nate and some to me. I keep my head down and just focus on the feel of Nate's hand in mine so I don't start to freak out. When we both get inside the car we leave the reporters there standing hopeless in the parking lot and make our way into town.
I start to feel nervous and hope that Nate doesn't yell.
"Are you mad at me?" I whisper closing my eyes.
"I'm just frustrated that's all." He keeps his voice down and I exhale in relief.
The rest of the car ride is filled with tension and only until the car stops I decided to grow some lady balls.
"I'm sorry." I whisper turning to face him as he shuts off the engine.
"It's fine Hazel. I just... I... never mind." He grunts and gets out of the car. I wait until he gets into the house then I get out of the car. I don't know why I just can't tell him how I feel. I just frightened about what will happen. As the weakling I am, I feel my tears welling up in my eyes and feel them spilling over the edge. George walks over to me and pulls out his handkerchief.
"Are you alright miss?" His asks.
"I'm fine thank you George." I smile wiping away the tears with the tissue.
"Miss Hazel. Mr Blake is a good young man, although he sometimes just needs a little push to understand some things. I've known him since he was very young and I can tell that he has feelings for you as you do for him." He smiles as he helps me walk up to the door. I laugh and feel more tears spilling over the edge. I nod and hand back his handkerchief.
"Thank you George. I'm working on it." I smile softly before making my way up the stairs to my room.
For a few hours I work on some of my assignments when I start to feel my stomach grumble. I walk to the dining room and see that Nate is already there just sitting himself.
"Hi." I blush as he looks up and smiles at me.
"Hey. How are you?"
"I'm fine thank you." As I get seated I hear a loud crackle and hear the rain outside.
"Are you sure? Because you seem a little afraid of the storm." Nate chuckles at my expression.
"It's not the rain. I love the rain actually. It's just the lightening im afraid of." I tell him as I look out the window.
"You'll be fine as long as you're in here and don't go wondering away you'll be safe." I feel a twinge of guilt run through me as I lift my head I was about to apologise once again but Nate lifted his hand to stop me.
"It's fine Hazel. I understand, don't worry about it." After saying that a loud crack echoed and a bright light came from outside making me jump and onto Nate's lap. He chuckled and held me tighter against him. I was in shock, well one being from the lightening and two with Nate's hands on my waist making tingles shoot through my body. I quickly stood up and sat back in my original place as I left the blood rushing to my cheeks.
The dinner was great and we had spent our time talking about our past and funny family moments. There were many times that the lightening had returned frightening me more and more every time it struck. After dinner Nate walked me back to my room and stopped me just outside the door.
"If you can't sleep and there is more lightening during the night don't forget that umm... my room is just down the hall so don't hesitate to knock if you want and come in okay?" He seemed so nervous it made me blush harder as a grin appeared I nodded.
"I'm sure I will but I don't want to disturb you from your sleep." I inform him rocking backwards and forwards on my heels.
"I'm sure I will wake up. I'll probably be doing some of my assignments anyway." He smiles and looks back up at me. I nod in response and thank him for walking me to my room and close the door lightly behind me.
I got changed into my pj's which was pretty much just a pair of cotton shorts and a small tank top and climbed into bed. I grabbed my book that Nate had given to me Under the Greenwood Tree by Thomas Hardy when we were at his parents' house and started to read. After about three hours there was no more hope that I was going to sleep through this storm. I hated lightening so much I couldn't stand it even now, and as much as I tried not to go to Nate's room it was nearly impossible.
So here I am standing in front of Nate's bedroom door contemplating whether or not I should knock or go back to my room and stay up all night. I turned around and was about to go back to the room when the door opened and revealed a shirtless Nate. My mouth was wide open and I'm pretty sure I was drooling slightly. His pants hung perfectly on his hips showing off his V line and his abs was to die for. I snapped out when I realised what I was doing.
"Hazel, hey I was just about to get something to drink were you about to knock on the door?"
"Yeah I was." I still feel like an idiot just staring at him.
"Well you can go in I'll get us some water." I nodded and walked past him into his room. When he was gone I looked around and realised I had never been in here before. It was much bigger than mine obviously being the master bedroom. It wasn't a messy room but it wasn't exactly clean either. There where books on the floor but not chucked around hanging open. They were stacked neatly in the corner of the room or on his bedside. The walls were grey and in the centre was a bed around the same size as mine. There wasn't much in his bedroom really, but covering the whole wall to the left was a bookshelf. Nearly everywhere I looked was mostly books. I quickly padded over to the shelf and scanned the book titles, my eyes landed on Wuthering Heights. I take it out and flip through the pages smiling to myself, which I have no idea why maybe because he actually reads and that makes me smile.
"Hi" Nate startles me as I turn around to see him with two glasses of water; "I see you've found my collection" he smiles walking towards me. I turn back around and put the book back into place and continue to look at the titles.
"These are incredible" I grin running my fingers over the spines of each manuscript.
"Are you okay? Is it the storm?" He asks handling me the glass. I shiver from the cold remembering that I'm only in shorts and a small top.
"Yeah, I tried to sleep through it but I guess no luck so here I am." I smile trying to look anywhere but at him.
"Well you can sleep in here. The bed is big enough for the both of us." He smirks, I gasp and try to smack his arm but he grabs my hands and hold it, "Your hands are freezing. Are you cold?" he asks softly just above a whisper. I don't trust my voice but I just nod with my eyes wide and mouth slightly open. Once again the thought of last night comes to mind of his hands, his lips and his voice.
"Well come on then get into the bed." He smiles letting go of my hand which snaps me out of my daze. I crawl into the bed and get as close to the edge as possible, I don't trust myself being close to him because I'm afraid of what will happen.
"Hazel you're shaking, you okay?" His voice is so close behind me I nod and let out a small yeah. After about ten minutes of reluctant shaking I hear Nate mutter, "Come here" very quietly I feel the bed moving and feel Nate's strong arm hook around my waist. I gasp in response while he pulls me away from the edge of the bed and turns me to face him. My eyes connect with his blue eyes and I inhale sharply at how close we both are. Nate smiles ever so softly and leans closer. I'm afraid his going to kiss me but my eyes automatically shut, his lips make contact with my forehead and linger there for a while. I take the time to sigh and bury my head into the crook of his neck warming up to his body heat. When he removes lips he tightens his arms around me and exhales.
"Sleep sweet Hazel." He whispers as I feel myself drift too sleep.
...
It's too hot, I try to kick off the bed sheets but it doesn't move. I throw my arms around my pillow and continue to try kick off the bed sheets. My eyes open slowly and see my arms aren't around my pillow but around Nate's shoulders. His legs are wrapped around my legs and his arms around are wrapped around my waist while his head is on my chest. His breathing is steady and I start to remember last night. The storm, the snuggling and the kiss to the forehead! What am I doing? My feelings for this guy are running way to quickly for me to even keep up with. He probably doesn't even feel the same way! My eyes rest on his forehead and I push away the small lock of hair that his in his eyes. I grab him arm and try to get out of his hold but it only tightens his grip. I struggle against his hold but jump out of bed.
"Hazel? What are you doing?" He asks confused getting out of bed and walks towards me with his arms open.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have come here last night. Sorry for disturbing you I'll just go back to my room." I say in a hurry running my hands through my hair and back away from his steps.
"What are you talking about? Last night was one of the best sleeps I've had since you got here. Come back." He frowns at me and stops walking towards me.
"No I can't this was wrong. I just... I just need to go, I'm sorry." I apologise to him as I feel my heart beating heavily in my chest as I take in his appearance. He is once again shirtless and I want to run my hands over his chest and shoulders... No! Stop get out of there.
"Why are you apologising? Why are you running away?" His mood has gone from soft to frustrated as he looks me in the eyes.
"Because I shouldn't have come here last night, it was a mistake." It's because my feelings for you are running like crazy at the moment. I add at the end in my head as I try to get to the door.
"What do you mean? Hazel just stop for a second!" He shouts and makes me turn around to face him.
"I... I just can't seem to think straight when I'm around you Nate." I whisper hoping he doesn't hear.
"What is this?" He gestures between the two of us. His eyes wide with worry in them.
I breathe heavily and shrug, "I don't know." I say barely above a whisper.
"You're telling me that over these past two to three months of us knowing each other you feel nothing?" He raises his voice and steps towards me. My heart is hammering inside and my eyes well up with tears.
"Feel nothing?" I raise my voice to match his, "I feel everything Nate. And I can't help it. But I know you don't feel the same for me." My voice cracks at the end as I try to blind back the tears. Nate walks towards me and takes me hand pressing it just over where his heart is. It's pounding matching the same speed as mine.
"You feel that? That's what you do to me. Only you Hazel" I take my hand away from his warm chest and hand and shake my head and turn away from him and walk away.
"Hazel!" He yells as I race down the stairs. I don't understand anything right now; I just need to think about everything before I let anything happen. I fall onto the comfortable couch in one of the living rooms and let the tears spill over. After a while of cowardly cry my last thought before returning to sleep was how much I was falling for Nate Blake.