I'm a Costello

(17) New complication

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[Alessandro's POV]

I can't believe this is happening. My worst nightmare is coming back to haunt me, and this time I'm not asleep fighting some monsters in my dreams, but in fact very much awake facing the looming threat on my siblings.

"I need a minute", I muttered, given the pin drop silence in the house I'm certain everyone heard me.

Saying that, I turn around heading up the stairs hoping for some time alone in my office. A place I've grown to love not because it gives me plenty of solitude and allows me to focus on my job but also because the walls there know every emotion I've been through for years.

They're familiar with me as I am with them. I'm comfortable there where I have no eyes on me. Here, I see everyone staring at me analysing me trying to figure me and my thoughts. I don't like that, makes me feel vulnerable in their eyes, even if they are but my family.

"Ales", I hear Elijah make an attempt to comfort me, one I've seen him do multiple times in the past to our siblings.

With my back against him, I reply. "Give me some time."

Knowing Elijah very well, I had no doubts about his talents to make anyone feel better no matter what they're going through. The man truly had a gift. And realistically speaking I could use his help to discipline my thoughts. But this was definitely a rare occasion when I can't have even Elijah seeing me lose my shit.

Once I was in the familiar surroundings of my office I finally allowed myself to loosen up and breathe. I hadn't realised I was depriving myself of oxygen until now.

My eyes closed as I took a deep breath, filling my lungs to the brim, before exhaling out audibly.

As a kid, I would sometimes have these recurring nightmares of some faceless monsters trying to hurt my siblings. They would lurk in the shadows of their rooms at night when they were soundly asleep. I was almost always convinced they were real. Which obviously was far from the truth.

These nightmares got worse when Val disappeared fifteen years ago. In the first few months of her absence I had these painful nightmares of her wailing in her crib. Almost every time I would be standing a few metres away from her staring at the smoke-like figure hovering over her crib. A monster.

My body would be paralysed in fear in the dream which is why I could never bring myself to go to her. Protect her. I would watch with absolute dread as the smoke monster engulfed her completely until she vanished.

And her wailing stopped.

It took me a while to get used to the fact that Valentina wasn't returning home anytime soon. And that wherever she was she must be safe. She had to be.

I guess losing my only baby sister was partly the reason I became protective of my brothers. It wasn't like I never had nightmares with them as victims. I did. But then I could also assure myself of their safety by checking up on them in the middle of the night. They were all always sleeping soundly on their beds with no care in the world.

Sighing, I poured myself a glass of scotch. Heaven knows I need it.

The only difference between those days and today is that now I'm a grown adult. I'm strong, resilient and one big asshole. I've spent years training myself to be the ultimate protector of my family just like my father. I always envisioned becoming like him and I like to believe that I have achieved that goal.

My eyes open slowly only to fall on the photograph on my table.

It was a new frame. A photo my cousins captured of me, my father, my brothers and Val when they visited us last time. A family photo, which was obviously missing my mother of course, but still it's definitely one of my favorites. Because Val was in them and everyone was happy.