The fall

Chapter 31

Penelope

I woke up gasping, my heart pounding in my chest like it was trying to break free from my ribs. The nightmare lingered in my mind, a suffocating weight that pressed down on me, leaving me breathless. I could see their faces—my friends—twisted in fear and betrayal as I stood over them, covered in blood.
My hands, my own hands, were drenched in their lives. And I couldn't stop. I couldn't save them from myself, I could barely breathe through the terror that still had a grip on me.

My palms were slick with sweat as I rubbed my face, forcing myself to wake up from the nightmare that felt so real. I wasn't back in that damn lab, though. Richard's compound was a far cry from the sterile nightmare I had escaped, but somehow, it didn't feel safe either. Not when I woke up with the memories of what I'd done—or what I was afraid to do.

A week? Maybe longer—I stopped counting—had passed since the Valortorians took me, and Richard had been my unlikely savior, offering me a room under one condition; train with his soldiers. In which I reluctantly agreed, since I now have to survive—knowing no one is coming for me in this prison. What choice did I have? I couldn't go back to the lab.

I pushed the nightmare away, reminding myself that It was just a dream. But it didn't make the fear any less real. What If I was a monster, just waiting to tear everything apart?

I pushed myself out of bed before I could think of the answer for that question, and glance at the clothes Richard gave me—placed carefully on my bedside table. A pair of joggers, a white chemise and a black hood—"it's easy to move around in for training, you'll need it, especially with those guys." Richard's words from last night after he provided me this room. I immediately put the clothes on, before heading out to the training grounds to deal with some idiots.

The muffled sounds of soldiers training inside the room reminded me that I didn't have the luxury of falling apart. Richard's soldiers were out there, and I needed to just get through today without falling apart—right?

I was completely and utterly wrong. When I'd started training with them, I thought it'd be hard, but It was even worse than I expected. The men weren't just cold—they were outright cruel. Especially Jayden, Mason, Ethan and Nolan. They definitely made it their personal mission to make me feel out of place, to remind me every chance they got that I was the "odd one out."

The guy Jayden was the worst. He and his buddies called me names every. fucking. day.—insulting me, mocking me, testing how much I could take before I'd break.

...

"Ketchup head," Jayden sneered this morning when I was shooting at the range. "You planning to spill yourself on the target or just looking to make a mess of the whole place?"

I clenched my jaw and kept my focus. The worst part was the way his voice oozed with smugness. The thought it was funny. He's lucky I don't shoot him right here and now.

Mason chuckled behind him, adding, "Tomato head. Yeah that's what they should call you. A walking, talking ketchup bottle."
He's lucky I don't shoot him either.

I focused on the target, my hands steady. It wasn't the names that got to me. It was the way they watched me, waiting for me to mess up. Ethan was also there with his stupid smirk, taunting me. "How many shots before ketchup head misses? I say two." That guy is also lucky I don't shoot him.

Nolan, laughing like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard, joined in. "I bet she can't even hit the board side of a barn." And he's also fucking lucky I don't plan on shooting him.

Their insults kept coming, each one digging into me like a knife. I hated them. I hated how they made me feel small. But I wasn't going to let them break me—not after everything I'd been through. Not when I was fighting for my sanity, to stay in control.

Still, It was hard. They didn't let up, and neither did the thoughts of killing every single one of them in my head, the echo of the nightmare I had also lingering in my mind. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I didn't want to become a monster, I wasn't a monster. But as the hour passed, they were pushing me closer to the edge.

And then Jayden did it. He challenged me.

"You think you're though, ketchup head?" He said, walking up to me with that arrogant grin of his. The others stood behind him, eager to watch. "How about a spar match? You think you can hold your own, or are you too busy thinking about how you'd look with all that blood on your face?" His voice was dripping with mockery, daring me to back down.

But I wasn't, not when I had been training with Blake every Tuesday morning. I'll destroy him.

"Fine," I answered immediately, my voice colder than I wanted it to be. "You want to spar? Let's go."

The others exchanged surprised looks, but I didn't give a shit. Jayden pushed me too far today.

We moved to the sparring mat, and the moment it started, I didn't hold back. Every punch, every kick, was fueled with anger, the frustration, the years of being lied to—from a shitty father, to another—being locked up, I was done. Something in me snapped. I wasn't weak and I definitely wasn't broken.

Jayden was fast, but I was faster. I moved like a swift shadow, ducking and weaving, landing punches that made him stagger. The others watched in stunned silence as I knocked him back again and again. His smirk had faded, replaced with a grimace of pain as I kept coming for him.

I wasn't going to let him or anyone else break me apart ever again.
Then I landed a solid punch to his jaw, sending him stumbling back before I flipped forward onto my palms against the mattress before landing a high kick to his stomach. He fell to the sparring mat, gasping for air.

Once I got back to my feet, I stood over him before kneeling down as I grabbed and tugged at his shirt—my fist clenched before they collided with his face. Again and again and again and again and again, another hit after the other. My heart was pounding in my ears as I punched—causing my knuckles to sore and soon throb before bleeding.

I had no expression on my face; I was like a lifeless robot as I gave him bruises and cuts. Before finally you hear a crack— I broke his nose. And that's when Richard's firm voice that immediately snapped me back to reality.

"Penelope, that's enough."

I stop my fist mid air before I could punch Jayden yet another time. My fist was trembling, I glance at it—watching Jayden's blood and my own dripping from it. I immediately get off him, my eyes wide as I realize what I just did.
I was about to kill him in cold blood.

I notice everyone staring at me, I pant uncontrollably at the stares. I need to breathe, just breathe. I immediately rush out of the training room, I feel sick.