Can You Handle It?

big baby

Orlando, FL
Jailanee's house
Sunday, November 10th
3:26pm
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Kamya's Perspective
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I was lying in Jailanee's gigantic comfortable bed. I don't know why she needs this big bed if it's just her sleeping in it, but it is quite relaxing so I don't blame her.

She was in the kitchen making us something to eat. I decided to come lay in the bed while she does that because I was feeling tired. I'm kind of bummed not going to lie, I leave to go back home tonight and I don't want to.

Every time I leave I always feel like a part of me is being ripped away. Jai's company is extremely comforting, once I leave I don't have that contact anymore. Yeah, we talk on the phone but it doesn't feel the same like when we are together.

The slight physical touch I receive, the comforting warmth I get when I'm around her, the subconscious protection she provides. Those feelings are highly unmatched when we are miles apart. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal. Am I actually growing a crush on this girl?

"You okay love? I been calling your name for a minute now to let you know the food done." Jai walked into the room with just her boxers and a black compression shirt. Of course my eyes lingered a little, but it didn't take away from how I was feeling.

I looked up at her with glossy eyes. I tried holding back my emotions. "Oh, sorry I must've zoned out," I detached from her bed. "What you made? It smells good."

"Your favorite, mashed potatoes and salmon," She grinned. "I wanted to make you something special before you go." Jai stated. I been talking about this meal since I first had Jai's cooking, she promised she'll make the meal for me one day.

"For real? Thank you." The plate of food sat in front of me beautifully. Once thing about Jai is that she can cook and I wouldn't mind her fatten me, her food is immaculate.

"You're welcome. You sure you okay?" She questioned me before she sat down with her plate.

I avoided eye contact with her, I knew she was staring at me and if I looked into her eyes I'll cry like the baby I am. "I'm fine." I said softly.

The silence crept into the room making me feel uncomfortable with the lie I just told. My words flew around in the air and repeated in my head, her hand grabbing my chin pulled me out of my thoughts. Her firm, but soft grip forced me to look up towards her.

"You know you can talk to me right?" She reminded. "You aren't enjoying your stay or something?" Jai questioned, trying to figure out what was bothering me.

My eyes started glossing up more, I couldn't say anything. I felt overwhelmed with the emotions I was feeling at the moment.

"Aw love what's the matter?" Jai asked softly while examining my face. She looked concerned, I was still in her grasp allowing her to study my face.

Still no words left my mouth, Jai visibly sighed because of this. She motioned me to come closer to her, positioning me on her lap. I was now facing her as I sat there, I didn't think much of the position due to my vulnerable state.

I leaned my head in the crook of her neck as she rubbed soothing circles on my back. No words were exchanged but the comfort spoke for itself. After a few moments went by of us sitting in the position, I finally had the courage to speak.

"I'm sorry." I said out of the blue.

She didn't stop rubbing circles on my back. "What you sorry for?" Jai asked.

"For being like this." I confessed. I picked my head up fiddling with my fingers.

"I don't find anything wrong with how you're being," She wiped the tear that fell unwantingly. "Would you like to tell me what's wrong now?" Jai spoke softly. She was very gentle and I loved it.

"I just realized how much I'm going to miss you when I leave. I like being in your presence honestly, I wish I could stay longer." I finally admitted.

Jailanee looked at me with an unreadable expression. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, it made me embarrassed. "I'm sorry never mind." I quickly said in an attempt to get off of her.

"C'mere," She pulled me back into her lap. "I'm going to miss you more. You'll be back out here soon, I promise." She held her pinky out. I interlocked my pinky with hers and she kissed our hands, sealing the promise.

"Okay." I said quietly. Jai always find a way to make me blush, I tried hard hiding it from her. I buried my face back into her neck in attempt.

"I can feel you smiling blue," She laughed. "Can we eat now? I want to chill with you before you go." Jai stated. She pulled me up from my thighs, which startled me, to position me better on her lap.

"Mhm, I'm starving."

Without realizing, I sat on Jailanee's lap for the rest of the evening. We played a few board games she had hidden in her closet. Then, she helped me pack the few things I had brought out here with me. She washed some of my clothes earlier that were already folded neatly on the bed.

The car ride to the airport was silent. The thought of her out my presence intruded on my mind again. I guess Jai felt the shift in the energy once more, she grabbed my hand squeezing it.

"It's okay. You'll be back soon just like I promised." She reassured me. The little reassurance did ease my mind slightly, but I am still on my way to the airport leaving her as we spoke.

The ride felt long and lengthy. Once we pulled up to the area I was getting dropped off at, she helped me take my bag out the trunk. I swore to myself not to cry again.

Jailanee leaned in for a hug. "I'm going to miss you. Don't be so down, please." She kissed the top of my head. See, little acts like these I'll miss.

I engulfed myself into her. "Okay, I'll try."

"Call me as soon as you land."

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