who are you ➸ jordan parrish [EDITING]

Is This The End?

I stayed in my room, not moving, just staring at the plain white wall in front of me, replaying the three words in my head.

"I love you"

Three words. So simple but means so much. The words violently screaming like my mind had nothing better to tell me. What do I even say? I love him, but would that be a lie?

Then it can came in small pieces, like tiny flashbacks all at once. Like a kaleidoscope of memories. All of Parrish. The way he smiled, his green eyes and the way he cares for other people. His voice was always so gentle, like talking to a young child who lost their parents, especially when he was talking to me, when he told me he loved me. But the only problem was, I was meant to be asleep. He thought I was asleep, but I was there with my eyes closed, listening to every word he had said. The first time was only my imagination, what I thought he said. But it wasn't until he said at night, that I knew, it wasn't my imagination.

But I can't say it back. It will only cause heartbreak. I couldn't do that to him. He didn't need me, nobody does. He'll soon realise.

The air around me was so thick like it was suffocating me. Unwritten and crumpled paper all over the bed, covering the most simplest letters I'd ever written. The letters that I was afraid to give out laid helplessly under my bed, in a box that I shoved them all here.

I slowly moved off my bed and grabbed the box from under my bed before placing it on my lap. I took the lid off and picks up all the letters that I'd ever written. I put them all on my bed before getting the bottle of pills.

But before I can even question what I'm going, I've already swallowed way to many pills.

Now here's the fun part.

You're left waiting, not knowing what's going to happen.

So when I laid down, I didn't know if I was going to live or die. I didn't know if anyone was going to find me, or that would even care.

And when I closed my eyes, all I saw was darkness.