✔ Caffeine || CHOI SOOBIN FF

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟞𝟝

~im trying my best to make yall cry~

-Start of Chapter 65-

The air feels too heavy, like I'm suffocating with every breath I take. My feet carry me away from him before I can fully process the look on his face. 

I don't want to see it—not the hurt, not the desperation. Not the hope.

"I can't stay here anymore" I say, my voice coming out sharper than I intended. But it's better this way. Better to make him understand. "I need to move out. Soon. Before everyone finds out about me living with you too."

"Y/N, wait." Soobin's voice wavers behind me, and I feel his hand wrap around my wrist, gentle but firm. I stop, but I don't turn around.

"I can't" I mutter, pulling my arm free.

"Please..." he says, stepping in front of me, his wide eyes searching mine, pleading. "Please don't do this. I don't care about the article, or the fans, or any of it. I'll handle it. I'll handle everything. Just... don't go."

His words hit me, but I can't let them sink in. If I let myself believe him, even for a second, I'll falter. I'll stay. And that will ruin everything.

"You don't get it" I snap, my voice colder than I feel. I have to sound cold. I have to. "You think this is just some article? Some gossip that'll blow over? Soobin, this is your career. Your life. And it's mine too. Or at least, what's left of it."

He takes a step closer, his face crumpling in frustration. "I do get it, Y/N. I know how bad this looks. But I don't care about what they think. About the rumours or the headlines—none of that matters. You matter."

His words sting more than they should. I force myself to laugh, bitter and hollow, because it's easier than crying. "And what about your fans? Your image? Your dream? You think they'll just accept this? Accept me?"

He flinches at my tone, but he doesn't back down. "I don't care—"

"You should!" I interrupt, my voice rising. I shake my head, stepping back. "You should care, Soobin! This isn't just about us. This is bigger than that. And I won't be the reason you lose everything."

His face twists in anguish, and for a moment, I want to take it all back. I want to tell him I'll stay, that we'll figure it out. 

But that's the problem, isn't it? We can't.

"Stop pushing me away" he begs, his voice cracking. "Please, Y/N. Don't do this. We can figure it out together."

I shake my head, blinking back the tears threatening to spill. "You don't understand. This—" I gesture between us. "This was never going to work. It's not possible. It never was."

His expression shatters, and I feel my resolve breaking. But I can't stop now. I turn away, biting down on the sob rising in my throat. "I need to start packing" I say, forcing my voice to sound steady, final.

"Y/N!" His voice cuts through the silence, raw and desperate. But I don't stop.

I don't look back. If I do, I'll fall apart. And I can't afford to fall apart. Not now. Not when I've already made my decision.

His hand catches my arm just as I reach for the door. It's not rough, but firm enough to stop me. Slowly, he turns me around, and when I meet his gaze, I feel my chest tighten.

There are tears in his eyes. Not falling, but there—shining, raw, and unguarded. It breaks me, but I can't let it show.

"You're crying" he murmurs, his voice soft as if he's afraid of breaking me further.

I blink rapidly, willing the tears in my own eyes to stay put, but one escapes, slipping down my cheek. "I like you, Soobin" I whisper, my voice trembling. "A lot. And that is exactly why I can't let you risk your career for this. For me. All the years you've worked so hard—"

"Stop" he cuts in, his voice cracking. "Don't say that. Don't make this about my career. You think I care about that right now? About anything but you?"

I shake my head, sniffing as I take a step back. "You should care, Soobin. You need to. Because I can't. I can't let you lose everything because of me."

I push the door open, stepping inside, but Soobin is right behind me. I barely have time to wipe my face before I feel him—his arms wrapping around my waist from behind.

The scarf I was untying falls from my hands. His face presses into the crook of my neck, warm and desperate, like he's holding on for dear life. "Please don't go, Y/N" he says, his voice muffled, trembling against my skin. "Please. For us. We can do this together. I'll do whatever it takes."

His words make my heart ache, tearing at the resolve I've been trying so hard to hold onto. It hurts—a deep, relentless kind of pain I can't shake.

I bite my lip hard, forcing myself to stay steady. "Let go, Soobin" I whisper, though my voice sounds more like a plea than a demand.

He doesn't move. "I can't."

I close my eyes, swallowing the sob threatening to escape.

"Y/N..." he pleads, his voice barely above a whisper. "Please... don't let go of this. Don't let go of us."

I stand still, trying to keep my breathing steady, but every word he says digs deeper into me. "You don't understand" I say, my voice trembling.

"Then make me understand" he murmurs against my shoulder. "I'll do anything. I'll fight whoever I have to. Just... don't go."

I want to believe him—so badly—but I can't let myself. This cruel world will never let me.

He sighs softly, the sound heavy with defeat, and I feel his breath warm against my skin. Slowly, he turns his head so his cheek presses against my shoulder, and his voice comes out shakier this time. "For us... will you go out with me?"

I close my eyes as his words hit me, the rawness in his tone cutting straight through my walls. It hurts. God, it hurts more than I can put into words.

"No."

I say sternly, and his hold on me falters.

"What?" he whispers, his voice in disbelief

I pull away, turning to face him. His eyes are wide, filled with disbelief and something else—something that makes it almost unbearable to meet his gaze.

"Just like you said that night, Soobin" I say quietly, each word weighing heavy on my chest. 

" 'We' can't happen..."

-End of Chapter 65-

~author's note~

sad?

i hope so. thats what i was going for.

ahhh its soon gonna be 2025! 

ill see if i can publish many chs that day.

Anyways,

Don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT

And...

Stay tuned for Chapter 66

Okii baii !! Luv ya'll <3

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