Haunting You - Boys of Tommen

I'm Not You

"You're my familiar, like my mirror years ago" - Hozier

September 22nd, 2005

Lizzie:

The nerve of that girl to offend Hugh, what could he have possibly done wrong? Whatever it was, it was unjustified, and I felt a surge of protectiveness for him.

"Aren't you going to yell at me or something?" I ask Joey, as I follow him outside of the lunch room.

"Why would I do that?" Joey asked me, popping yet another hard candy in his mouth. 

"Because I was being a bitch" I reply, feeling tired. 

"I just thought you needed a walk."

"I'm not a dog, Joey." I stop to face him, "and I'm not one of your siblings, you don't need to take care of me."

His face turned from nonchalant to solemn, "you helped me, I'm returning the favour."

"You're not mad about me talking like that to Aoife?"

"Aoife can take care of herself." Joey answered, and I'm suddenly jealous of the stability of their relationship, the security they both feel. I remember the feeling well, and it stings to see it up close again. 

"As opposed to me? The girl walking around with a sign on her head that says 'fix me'" I reply sarcastically. I knew he meant well, but I hated everyone around me pitying me and always trying to help me. 

Joey just chuckles and begins walking again, and I follow. He was offering me a lifeline, and even with my stubbornness, I wasn't stupid enough to not take it. 

"So what was that about back there?"

"Your girlfriend was being mean to my-" I trail off.

"Your what?" Joey prods.

"My friend." I answer, finding the hangnail on my pointer finger to play with, feeling some semblance of control over the sharp pains it brought. 

"So you can call Gussie 'Thor' but Aoife can't banter with Hughie?"

I rear back, "that is completely different, and Thor fucking calls me 'Viper.'" I'm angry now, I couldn't keep having this conversation. 

He remains silent, and it forces me to cool down before speaking again. "Why is your girlfriend even mad at Hugh? What could he have possibly done to her?"

"Aoife is Red's next door neighbour."

"Red? Do you mean Katie?" I ask and he nods, I couldn't tell if he genuinely had a difficult time remembering names or he just didn't care enough. "And what does she have to do with it?"

He annoyingly remains silent again. "If you're suggesting Hugh's mistreating her, he would never do that, she's his little perfect princess."

I just knew that Hugh was the perfect boyfriend to her. Opening doors, paying for dates, and always prioritizing her. I knew it because I had lived it.

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"Look, I don't know what happened between you and Biggs, and I don't really care that much, but Katie would have to be blind to not see it."

"See what?"

"How you two exist in each other's space, like you're in each other's gravity or something."

"You don't know what you're talking about." I say, a little too harshly. 

"Maybe, I don't, but I also don't care enough about your teenage drama to lie about it." He sighs, "I've been in your position before Liz and when everything blew up, it wasn't pretty."

"And what happened to your Hugh?" I ask, knowing the answer but wanting it from his mouth.

"You've met AJ." Is all he says, and I get what he means, but I don't see any happy endings in my future. 

"I'm not you, Joe."

"Yeah, you're better than me."

I scoff, "I definitely am not." Joey was a good person, I wasn't. 

"Do you know how many fights I've gotten into over the years and that's not even mentioning the drugs? The way I used to treat Aoife? I would have taken being a bitch to my friends over all of that bullshit any day."

I get where he's coming from but it's all lies, and I just want to go home, and be done with all of this. 

"Yeah, sure. Um, tell Shannon I'll see her later." I mutter before leaving him in the courtyard. 

Thanks for reading!  - H <3