buddy system •kyle simmons•

left alone

i didn't ask to sign up for the buddy system, let alone did i know of its existence.

my parents brought me to the dinning room to tell me, something they hadn't done in a long time.

they said it was for the best, though i knew their real intention was to get rid of me.

they said it was a camp. a camp to help me make a friend 'or maybe more'. a camp throughout the summer, then it turned into a school, for mentally ill kids.

mentally ill.

that word stung. stung worse than cuts and burns that littered my body.

'honey, we want what's best for you.' they repeated to me.

so sending me to a place where i will be beyond scared and frightened is what's best for me?

the best thing for me is to be left alone.

left alone.

-

when the day came for me to be taken to 'camp amitié', i tried my hardest to stay locked in my room.

my parents knocking, mixed with the anxious feeling of being taken away caused panic and fear rush into my bones.

my lungs seemed to fail me, and my body curled within itself.

i couldn't go live somewhere else.

i couldn't be forced to be someone's 'buddy'.

i couldn't breathe

"honey, it's time to leave. hurry up." they continued knocking.

i clawed at my neck, trying to open its passages. i squeezed my eyes shut, trying my hardest to block out the noise as i tried to steady my breath.

the knocking stopped, and i was rather grateful, now only having to focus on my lungs with no distraction.

it was short lived.

my parents entered my room, grabbing my two bags.

"see this? this is why you got signed up for this. we need to get you fixed."

i didn't need to be fixed, i needed to be left alone.

an// what do you think so far? hopefully it's not too boring. i suck at first chapters.