Through my eyes||Dino

-13-

Seventeen last tour stop was Japan. Sara was on her way back from a photoshoot the members had for a brand collab. She doesn't know her way around very well and it's relying on her phone to guide her back to her hotel. She wanted to walk back to her hotel to make the most of her time in Japan.

Taylor finished her job early so she was already in the hotel room. They planned to hang out later at night but decided to go back to the hotel first to rest a bit before going out again.

The map guided Sara to a very busy street, and somehow, she got tangled into the big crowd. The people were crossing the huge avenue and they were pushing her.

She immediately started getting anxious and felt that she could not breathe very well. She closed her eyes to regain her focus while she heard faint sounds of people screaming. The next thing she knew, she was crashing down.

The people around her were screaming at her because the traffic light changed--a guy riding a motorcycle crashing into her. He felt on top of her and she felt a stinging pain in her legs.

Somehow, still conscious, she tried to pull herself from the ground, but the pain was unbearable. People helped her get on the side of the road, some bringing her belongings that were scattered all around the road.

" Miss, stay here until the ambulance arrives" someone said, " No, please call Taylor, don't call anyone else, just Taylor plea-se" She said with the little strength she had. "Tell her to not say anything to anyone, just... call her.. please" That's the last thing she said before everything went dark.

Sara knew how busy and stressed the members where with the tour and everything, even when she was on the brink of death, she didn't want to bother anyone. But the next moring, everything came crashing down.

The last person she wanted to see in the hospital. There he was pacing outside her hospital room, his hands gripping the sides of his jacket, while Seungcheol and Seungkwan stood next to him trying to comfort him.

Sara could hear them talking softly but she was too stunned to say anything. She had'nt expected them to show up, let alone rush to the hospital when they heard. Only the three of them came to not gain much attention.

Sara immediately looked at Taylor, who stood awkwardly in the corner, her face flushed with sadnness and slight embarrassment. She looked at Sara, who was lying on the hospital bed with one leg in a cast, the other leg had bruises and cuts that were covered by bandaids, and a band on her injured head.

"I- I'm sorry I had no other choice, don't hate me" Taylor muttered, looking away. Sara smiled weakly, but it hurt. " I didn't want anyone to worry," she whispered. Before she could say anything else, Chan rushed in, his face pale, his eyes wide in panic.

"Sara", he gasped, running to her bedside. He grabbed her hand, his voice breaking. "Gosh, Sara. When i heard the news, my heart stopped. I thought... I thought I was going to lose you." Her heart thudded painfully in her chest as she looked up to him. She saw the raw emotion in his eyes--the tears that were theatening to spill."Chan, it's just a broken leg and a few minor injuries, I'll be okay" she said trying to calm him.

He shook his head, his voice trembling. "No. You don't get it. You're so important to me, Sara. You've become such a big part of my life, and I... I just can't imagine losing you." Sara stared at him, not knowing what to say. She had never seen him like this--so vulerable, so exposed. The others took this moment as a queue to leave them alone in the room.

"Chan...I don't know what to say," She whispered. "I just--" He looked away, tears streaming down his face. " I just don't want to lose you. Please. Don't ever leave me, stay safe with me please. I-I love you so much Sara."

Sara's heart stopped, this time tears steaming down her face. Seeing him like this make her heart hurt. She reached out and gently cupped his face with one hand, wiping the tears that kept streaming down his face.

"Chan...I-I need time to think this through. I've never experienced anything like this before, but I'll think about it I just... need some time." Even though she meant those words, she feared on what he would say next. Chan's face fell, his heart aching at the uncertainty in her voice, but regardless of what he was feeling, he nodded, giving her space. "Take all the time you need," he said, his voice breaking slightly. "I'll wait for you."

-•-

Taylor and Chan both offered to stay the night, but Sara felt guilty enough and told them she was okay being alone. It took a lot of pleading but in the end they agreed and went home. Later that night, when Sara was alone in her hospital room, she found herself replaying the words Chan had said in her head. Everything he told her--the vulnerability in his voice--the raw emotion--shook her. She needed to think this through. And that's when her past came rushing back.

Back in high school, Sara had been different. She wasn't always this clueless about love, and it was not hard for her to trust people. It's true that boy's did not notice her, but she still had crushes from now and then, she just never had the courage to say anything. She never had any close friends, just normal classmate talks here and there, but there was a person she did consider as not only her friend, but her best friend, Matt.

Matt was the only guy who actually initiated conversations with Sara, they talked about everything, even when he found a girl cute they both would agree and vice versa. He was the only person who had ever made her feel that she's worth something. They shared so many memories together, He'd always made sure to point out how much he liked her personality, how he wishes everyone else could see that side of her, and how beautiful he though she was.

Sara used to say a lot, "Ugh I wish I looked like one of the popular girls, they need to teach me their ways." and Matt always got mad saying "Don't compare yourself to plastic dolls love, you are way better than them." And, for a while, Sara believed him.

She never saw Matt as more than just a friend, and just took every compliment he told her as just him being friendly, and it had been like that for all her years in high school. But then, one day, Matt confessed his feelings. He told her he loved her, he pointed out all her insecurities and told her that he loved them, he wanted her to understand that she is worthy of being loved, He wanted to be more than just friends.

Sara, taken aback and scared of the idea of losing their friendship, told him she needed time to think about it. Matt didn't look pleased with his answer, "okay." he said and left, without saying anything else. The next week, Sara went to school, ready to give Matt an answer, when she saw him kissing one of the popular girls.

Just three days, she just asked him three days to think about it. This shattered Sara. It broke her belief in love, in herself. She thought maybe all the things he said about loving her and all her insecurities where all lies. "I'm way better than them huh?" She said to herself while walking away from the scene in front of her.

Maybe she was never meant to be loved. Not only did she lost her only friend, but she lost the ability to trust--to open up. Now--years later, here was Chan--someone who was kind, funny and genuinelly cared about her. But was she worthy of that? Could she let him in without the fear of losing him?

As Sara stared out the Hospital window, a tear slipped down her cheek. Maybe, just maybe, Chan was the one who could make her believe in love again. But it wasn't going to be easy. Not when her heart is still broken from the past...