Faulty Trust || Katie McCabe

21

November passed by quicker each day, but it brought a sense of routine into my life. I felt like I'd finally settled into London and found a rhythm within the team. Everything just felt good.

But it never lasts, does it?

Another weekend brought another WSL match, this time against Brighton, and I couldn't wait. I felt good, the team felt good, and everything just felt right. A knock had woken me up earlier than usual, so I found myself pulling the blanket off my bed and wrapping myself in it as I trudged to the door. My mood immediately improving after realising who it was.

"What are you doing up so early?" I asked amusedly as Katie gave me a bright smile like she'd been up for hours already.

"I felt like bugging you," was all she responded with. I forced myself not to roll my eyes. "Ready for the match against Brighton today?" I hummed while turning on the coffee maker, taking note of how I needed to get more Keurig pods soon.

"I am, though I wish I got a little more sleep," I glared at her over my shoulder, which only made her smile grow bigger.

Katie changed the subject rather quickly, talking about Ireland and her family. I listened, even if I wasn't facing her directly. The more she talked, though, the more I began to realise something might be up; Katie loves to talk, but this is a little too much. Especially so early in the morning.

So, taking my coffee mug and my chances, I turned to her, waiting for her to stop. When her eyes met mine, she immediately stopped. Her words catching in her throat as I stared at her curiously without saying a word. Katie's eyes widened briefly as she began fiddling with her rings. Silence stretched between us as I sipped at my coffee, patiently waiting for her to talk about whatever was resting heavily on her chest.

"Have you seen Ruesha's podcast?" Katie asked quietly. I hadn't, but now I feel like I should take a look.

"No," I trailed off in hopes she'd continue, and she did.

"Well, you know how she is. Ever the joker, but she keeps subtly dragging me. About events following our breakup, and then the World Cup, and all that. I just—" Katie stopped herself, her eyes unable to meet mine.

As long as I'd known Katie, she'd been the strongest person, both mentally and physically, I knew. She never let what the critics said about her affect how she thinks or how she acts on or off the pitch. I always wondered when we stopped talking and the media took off in Ireland when she became captain if she was alright. I still cared about her deeply, and I knew anyone else would be affected.

Katie had always given off the impression that she wasn't affected, but now? I think it was all finally starting to get to her, and I wished I had been there from the start to help her through it all. My gaze softened as I set my cup down and reached across the counter, gently taking Katie's hand to get her to stop fiddling with her rings. Grabbing her attention in the process, her eyes held vulnerability she hadn't shown me before.

"Let her run her mouth," I began. I'd never been a big fan of Ruesha for obvious reasons, but it was never my place to say anything because Katie and I weren't on speaking terms. Though now I'd voice my opinion loud and clear if it was affecting Katie this much. "Let her keep dragging it out; let her be immature. It's clear you've moved on; you've been the bigger person. You know the truth, and you know she's just trying to get inside your head. Don't let her do that."

She gripped my hand tighter, and the action pulled at my heart. "Fuck what she says and what the people around her say. You guys aren't together anymore; she doesn't have a say in your life. Let her live in the past, but don't let her hold you back from moving forward. Don't let it affect you to the point you're second-guessing yourself. Katie, what she says doesn't matter; she's just upset she lost such a wonderful soul."