Faulty Trust || Katie McCabe

Bayern München

2022

"You know a few Arsenal girls, right? Lia Wälti's one, I know that. Who else?" Klara asked curiously; she and Georgia had crashed my flat early this afternoon, claiming I needed their chaos.

"Well, I know all the England girls. You know Leah, don't you?" Georgia chimed in from below us. She was busy sitting on the floor playing FIFA while Klara and I spoke in broken German so Georgia could still understand us. She was new this season just as I was, but I had the advantage of living in Switzerland.

I hummed, mindlessly rolling my ring across my knuckles as a way to keep me occupied. The thought of playing Arsenal was haunting me for so many reasons I wished I could just keep buried.

"Yeah, I know Leah." I paused, "Obviously I know most of the girls from playing them in the WSL. Doesn't mean I know them, know them. I'm just somewhat acquainted."

Klara nodded in understanding, though her watchful gaze told me she saw through my little ploy to mask my anxiety. She didn't mention it, though, the three of us shifting to current events in our lives. I'd visited my father in Mannheim over the weekend to see the Le Mans testing. It caught Georgia's attention, and I spent a long while talking about Porsche's decorated history in the endurance event.

In return, Georgia told Klara and I about the tattoo studio she found and how she wanted to learn how to tattoo. She explained how it was her outlet outside of football and the peace it brought her while also bringing in a different type of stress and nervousness. The adrenaline it brought was something that allowed her to shift her attention from the world of football.

I admired it; it was similar to the liking it took to endurance racing and Le Mans.

Afternoon faded into evening, and the three of us decided to walk down the street to find a place to eat. None of us were particularly picky eaters, but we decided on a sushi place.

Georgia was a few paces ahead of Klara and I on the phone with her brother; it left us in a quieter silence that was really only filled with the cars passing by. That is, until Klara finally broke and asked me what has been bothering me.

"So what's up with you?" Her tone quieter as she switched into German; it brought a more secure feeling to the conversation that was clearly just for our ears.

"What do you mean?"

Her brown eyes gave me a deadpan look that told me she wasn't stupid. "You've got a love-hate relationship with Arsenal, I can tell. Why?"

I scoffed at her blunt but true statement. Klara was younger than me by a few years, but we'd clicked almost immediately when I arrived at Bayern. Her bluntness was like a shock to my system because nobody has ever really been like that besides family and close friends. Everybody else just beat around the bush until I forced it out of them.

"Past personal relations, I guess; stuff I wish I could forget." I shoved my hands into the pockets of my sweats because none of us had dressed up; going out for dinner had been impulsive. "Arsenal was— is my favourite team. Always has been, no matter where I go."

Klara hummed in understanding. Her ability to understand reminded me of Fin, and her duality of being able to find comedic relief was something I loved. Her dark eyes met mine briefly before I turned away, and I wished they hadn't because she saw right through me.

"There's more." She stated plainly, and I let out a breath.

"I get in my head every time I've played Arsenal because of an injury I picked up the very first time. It's semi-related to the personal issues, and it just gives me anxiety."