Allegiant (Alternate Ending): I Won't Let You Go Again [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 2: Picture Frames

Tobias' POV

I sit up from my bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I put my head in my hands thinking about what I've dreamed. Tris. Always. Every night, ever since that day, she's the only one who has been in my dreams.

I take a deep sharp breath and started crying. Why was she saying goodbye to me? I know I'm not like this before, I never cry. But after those 2 damn years without her, I-- I just didn't know what would I do with my life anymore.

The way she kissed me in that dream, it just felt so real. Like she was really here with me. I know I couldn't love anyone the way I loved her.

I sigh heavily, tears still streaming down my face. I stand up shakily and get ready for the wonderful day ahead of me. (note the sarcasm)

I took a 10 minute shower and put on my tight, dark gray shirt, dark blue jeans, combat boots and my leather jacket.

I look at the mirror and see my face has little red spots on them. my face is completely blotchy and tear streaked. My eyes have dark circles under them.

It's 7:15 so I guess I should have breakfast.

I usually don't go out from my room for breakfast after what happened to her because I don't wanna answer the question of the gang. I appreciate their help to me moving on but they all know that that won't ever happen.

I decided to go out for breakfast cause the stock in my apartment ran out. I guess I have no choice. I let out a breath again an walk towards the cafeteria.

I walk down the dark tunnels, my footsteps echoing. As soon as I know it, I'm nearing the cafeteria door.

I get inside with a stern, serious face. The gang didn't notice that I came in. good. I walk to the counter to get my order and feel someone pat my back.

I turn around and see the one and only Ezekiel. He gives me a small smile.

"Hey! So... How ya doin' bro?" he said.

"same as usual" I mumble. I hear him sigh heavily.

"Bro... you have to stop mourning her every day yor the rest of your life." he said slowly, making me try to understand. "you have to... move on. I know that's not easy for you but do you think she wanted you to live your whole life like this forever?"

Then a short vision appeared in my eyes.

.
"Tobias, you have to continue living your life. You have to move on without me. You have to have your own family someday. I want you to be happy." She said tears brimming in her eyes.
.

After seeing that, I shut my eyes and shake my head, clearing that memory away from my mind.

"You don't understand." I say with clenched jaws.

"Yeah. you're right. I don't. but Tris wouldn't want you to---" he cuts himself off. Tris. he said her name. I told them so many times that they wouldn't mention something that remind me of her.

"I uhhh---" he said, out of words. I stomp away blinking the tears stinging in my eyes away.

He said her name.

Tris.

My life, my everything. She's gone and I did'nt even do anything to save her. I hate myself. I HATE myself.

I slam my door shut and lock it. I hate myself. I started knocking off all the thins that get in my way. I feel my face getting wet as I punch the wall as hard as I can multiple times until my knuckles bleed. A huge chunk of the wall fell to the floor. the only thing that I didn't knock out was the side table near the sofa where I put me and her picture frame. I had to lay that picture down because it hurts so much to see her beautiful face.

I walk towards it snd pick it up gently. I sit down at the end of the sofa and look at the picture.

That was me and her after initiation. She was smiling beautifully while I was kissing her cheek. I run my thumb down her face. Hot tears escaped from my eyes. I miss her. I miss her so much.

I lay down on the sofa and stare at the ceiling, clutching the picture frame to my chest. I feel like I'm getting stabbed on my heart multiple times. Fuck, it feels even worse than that.

I cry myself to sleep again. With her in my mind.

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I'm s-so s-sorry... 😭😭😭

I cried the whole time when I was doing this chap and my whole bed is wet with my ocean of tears.

So... fellow fangirls and fanboys, breathe. *inhales* *sobs* *exhales*

That's all for now. Bye. 😭

-StayFearless...ོ