Mes Poemes

Futile

This futile resistance

Haunts my exsistance

As the shards of my heart

Long for evidence

Of life..

Life worth living or leaving?

Giving or grieving?

Dying and receiving these cuts

that don't mean a thing

Besides everything.

A cutting board, as a rule

Never fights back or feels like a fool

But this cutting board

Is cutting boredom

And things to come,

Depression and lessons

And what do I hold the rest in

When my heart is overflowing

With this pain and how it's growing

It seemed impossible but

now I'm so lost And though

I'm yet to be found,

Still just hanging around.

A round, a continuous repetition of a melody

By multiple voices

But it seems to me

That only my voice is singing

With this futile symphony.

So now I lay hear and cry

Tearless.

Because this is all I can do.

So much pain I can't even cry,

So unwilling to live yet too afraid to die,

I long for the blade, to cut, to bleed, to forget

Forget This time that I've spent

Wondering where the time went

I've been buried and suffocating

For so long that there's pain in breathing

And I'm so tired of seeing

The dirt in my eyes.

Maybe it's time to say goodbye.

Why even try

when all I do is die

Daily..

Afraid to see the mistake that is me..

turn your head oh Loving ones!

Shield your daughters, hide your sons!

Whisper sweet lies into my ears,

those who say you hear

the sound of my heart screaming

When you don't hear a damn thing!

Love me, leave me,

forget about the pain you see,

Would you go along with your lives

If you had the knowledge I'd died

Of the hands by my side

Would you have even cried..

Tell me you Love me,

Those who truly see

Don't give up on me

Or let me be

I'm scared so please..

Stay with me.

Help me resist this..

This futile existence.