Mes Poemes

Shhh..

My heart beats hard within my throat,

Stomach sick as I begin to choke

But nothing exits but my dignity..

What has happened to me?

I stare in agony at my empty plate

Why am I filled with so much hate

For myself, when did it start

I starve because I just can't play the part.

Shh.. don't tell them

Shh.. they just can't know

Shh.. they wont understand

Shh.. you just can't say so

I close my eyes and count to three

As a fist comes down above my knee

It never hurts I feel no pain

So on myself my anger rains.

I stare, so numb, at my shaking hands

Hoping someday ill make amends

The pain is taking over me

Maybe this cut will set me free

Shh.. don't tell a soul

Shh.. they'll make you go

Shh.. it's best kept secret

Shh.. don't want to regret

Another night and two more pills

I want to stop but have no more will

This addiction doesn't make me free

But it's the only thing that helps me sleep.

The form brings pain but never leaves scars

As long as I don't go too far

The burning water turns my skin red

as the voices scream inside my head

Making me wish I were dead.

Shh.. just be silent

Shh.. you're not important

Shh.. they cannot hear you

Shh.. you'll never get through

You ask me what has me so hurt

I open my mouth but can't speak a word

Sometimes it feels like there's some sort of wall

I try to climb but I always fall

Like something unseen is holding me back

from speaking so I just turn my back,

Lie and say ill be okay

As i silently walk away.

Shh.. that's right, don't speak

Shh.. you are so weak

Shh.. speak only silence

Shh.. you know they'll buy this

Shh.. that's right, it doesn't matter

I believe them.. and I hear the voices' laughter.