One in the Same

Ch 12: Danielle

Smiting-- catching feelings -- one of the two, or both, was an understatement for what I was feeling for this man. Crushing was even more of an understatement. The sex was, of course, phenomenal; not to mention his foreplay skills are off the charts admirable. I never can get enough of him. It didn't even have to be sex, really. I enjoy Blake as a person, as a whole. I like being around him, familiar with him and his routine. Everything he does is remarkably hot, and always giving each other our undivided attention.

It was a healthy start, to something new and adventurous.

The care and tenderness Blake has with me, is something I haven't been able to experience in a long time. Or at all, even. The constant reassurance, endless compliments and kisses. It was like we were dating for years, and it was only a couple of months since this relationship started. Which is even crazier to say out loud. Blake was many, many things.

But so far, and hoping that it continues and never fizz out, his compassion for women is the hottest thing about him. When he can and will, the vulnerable part of Blake is the best part.

Any man can say being vulnerable is stupid, but I can guarantee 98% of women love it when their man can l;et his walls down and show his emotions. The intimate connection of bearing one's feelings and how they feel is another level of wonderful understanding. I can say it is hard to wrap my head around the fact someone like Anna was able to take advantage of, and use Blake like she did for however long. Those details were not important to me. I had seen enough to understand what kind of man Blake was.

And he was for sure a survivor. Like many others. Like me.

Jake can't seem to get enough of it, either. Which is pretty funny to me. Seems like he loves living in the relationship through me, apparently. Jake had John, but still wasn't willing to let go of having a crush on Blake. And Blake knew about it, which made the whole thing even funnier, simply because Blake knew how to get under Jakes' skin to mess with him. Blake would even feed into it, end up playing along to get Jake flustered.

It's nice to have someone to confide in, when my mother isn't around.

I will admit, this is a new thing for me, this thing I have with Blake. I'm not exactly sure what to call it, but I am hoping to get a label on it soon. I don't want to rush him, considering the shit Anna put him through. I feel for him a lot. Not to mention this kind of thing doesn't happen to a lot of men, and when it does, it's a big deal.

When someone, anyone, for that matter, goes through something as terrifically terrifying as domestic abuse, it's hard to get out of.

It's challenging, anxiety filled, stressful, worry and dread filling your mind every second of every day. Not knowing that another person is lurking around a corner watching you. Stalking your social profiles to the end of time. It's unfortunate, it is exhausting. But it is all so fucking worth iit in the ned when you are out of it. When you're free of the burden that's been keeping you chained up and locked away from who you are; it's like a massive sigh of relief.

Like the feeling of a fresh summer breeze tickling the back of your neck, and you've been outside all day, sweating in the heat. And once that cool breeze hits your slicked skin, it's bliss.

Paradise.

"Oh my god, look at this." Nicole beamed, sauntering over to the corner.

Lighting a lamp, her jaw dropped to the floor, her hand skirting along the handy work of rhinestones. Different shades of the rainbow embroidered the shade, the light from the bulb exploding this beauty in a ray on the wall.

Today, I am on the move, shopping for apartment furniture. I had gotten a call back from a complex I had applied for, and I was accepted. So I called some girls from work that I trusted enough with my judgment to go shopping. Jake threw a fit because he had to work, but I promised him that I would take him with me to get a bed and couch. I spit and shook on it.