Spot: A World of Perfection

Chapter XXIV: Foundering

—We're back in Vinnie's POV—

Last night I fell asleep crying on Kiyan. My heart hurts, and so does everywhere else but I don't know how to help myself. My parents are suffering more than I am and there's nothing I can do to stop it besides getting better, but I can't even do that.

I slowly wake up, expecting to see Kiyan next to me, but he's gone. His scent is lingering, but he's not here. I scan my entire room, to see if anything of his is left, a sign that he's coming back, and I spot his black hoodie and a note on my desk.

I get up and stretch, then grab his hoodie and pull it over my head: his scent soothes my headache out a little. I pick up the note and it reads,

Hi, baby. I'm sorry to do this and say these things to you through a note instead of in person, but I just couldn't bear seeing the sadness on your face when I told you this. But I have to remove myself from your life because I'm not enough for you like this. I can't help you do anything. I can't help you find yourself, and I can't help you forget or properly grieve what happened to you, and I'm sorry. So I'm going to go away for a while and better myself, and gain the knowledge and power to properly help you. Maybe I'll grow the courage to come back to you one day, if you'll accept me. But for now, this is goodbye. I know it's too soon to say, but I really do love you. I'm sorry for leaving you like this, but it's for the better. I'm of no use to you.

"What?" I mutter. I rush out of my bedroom door and downstairs. My parents are sitting on the couch, "w-where's Kiyan?!"

"He left late last night, why? What's the mat-"

I turn around and run to the door. I don't even put any shoes on, I just run outside in the cold snow and to his house. I knock on the door, over and over again. No answer.

"Please! Kiyan, please! Open the door!" I knock again. "I need you."

The door unlocks on the other side, and I see Kiyan's father, "good morning, Vinnie. What's wrong? Are you okay?"

My breath quickens and changes at the thought of him leaving, "where's Kiyan? I- he left me this note, like he was leaving somewhere. I just... I need to... I- I don't even understand-"

Mr. Silver puts a hand on my shoulder, "calm down, Vinnie. Come in, I'll get you some tea." he steps back, and welcomes me in.

I slowly walk through the door and follow him to the kitchen as he puts the tea kettle on.

"I-is he here?" I ask, scared of the answer.
Though, I'm not sure which answer I would want. If he's here, then I'd be angry because he tried abandoning me. But I'd also be glad he was arm's distance away. If he's isn't here, then I'd be even more angry. Not even the smallest bit glad because he did abandon me.

"Unfortunately, no. He flew back to Japan with his grandparents early this morning. Kipper's here though. Did he not tell you?"

Oh.

"Why did he fly back? Did something bad happen? Was he forced to go?"

He shakes his head, "he said he felt like it was best and that he wanted to study back home for a while. He really didn't tell you any of this?" Mr. Silver's eyebrows purse.

My chest caves in and suddenly I can't breathe. He left me. After all that chasing he did, and after all those claims of me being his, he left me. At the time I needed him the most too.

I sadly rise from the stool, "sorry, sir, but I have to go. Thanks for telling me."

"Here, I'll walk you out."

As I get to the door, he says, "I'll tell him to call."

"Don't. I... just don't. I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved with him anyways. Our relationship was doomed from the start. Thanks for the answers though. Goodbye."

We didn't even make it to Christmas.

I leave out of their house, and begin walking wherever my feet lead me. He didn't even try to talk this out with me. He made a judgment based on his feelings alone, and said fuck me. How could he make me fall for him, just to walk out of my life like this? He made me depend on him, and need him in more ways than one, just to up and disappear? That isn't fair. This whole situation isn't fair.

It's below freezing out here, but even then, my tears don't freeze. They continuously fall from my eyes and drench my cheeks and his hoodie. I can't even feel how cold it is out here.

A car horn honks beside me. I snap out of my thoughts and turn to it: It's Zain.

He rolls the window down, "Spot. Get in."

I take a deep breath, then walk to the passenger side of the car.

"He left." I tell him, staring down at my hands.

Zain takes off his trench coat and places it in my lap, "I know, that's why I'm here."

I look up and at Zain, "what? How?"

"I woke up to a text from him. He said that he was leaving because he wasn't enough? Or something like that. He said he was sorry for leaving you, but it's the better choice for you. He asked me to take care of you until he comes for you again."

"Zain?"

"Hm?"

"Call him. Right now."

As he drives, he pulls his phone out and unlocks it. He hands it to me and I surf through his contacts, looking for Kiyan. I spot it.
My thumb shakes and trembles as it hovers over the call button. What will I even say to him?

Zain rides over a speed bump, and my thumb clicks call. My heart shakes and beats fast, out of my chest. It takes a few rings, but he actually answers.

"Hello? Zain? What's wrong? Is something wrong with Suk- Vinnie?"

No Suki, huh?

I mute the phone, "Why does he think something's wrong with me?"

"He said not to call unless something happened to you, or if you had some major change, or something he said. I have a bad memory."

"Hello? Did he butt dial me?" he mutters.

I unmute the phone, then open my mouth, "Kiyan."

He goes silent. Not even a breath escapes from him.

"I... hate you. So much for doing this to me. I don't care what you thought was best, but you left me after making me trust you and I'll never forgive you for that. Don't worry about coming for me. I'll be fine on my own." then I hang up.

I didn't want to say that. I wanted to tell him that I was slowly loving him too, and that I needed him to come back to me, but I couldn't. Because even if I did, he wouldn't come back. His mind is made up. I could tell by the way he asked for me. He was concerned, but he hadn't a single sign of remorse in his voice.

"Are you okay, Spot?" Zain grabs my hand.

I turn Zain's phone off and stare out the window, "yeah. Just take me home please. No use in foundering over this anymore. He's clearly made a decision."

I think my new found hatred for him overrides everything I've been through. This was my much needed wake up call.

•••
Next chapter will be the end of their teenage years, and we'll soon be entering a time jump and the final chapters of their story will continue. We're actually very close to the end 🥲.