Tap Tap Tap / Peterick

Chapter 1

April 9th, 1997

Patrick's POV

I think everyone has a certain part of their lives where they truly wish they could just freeze time. Whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come, whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer. Everyone has a time in their life where they wish everything would just stop. The world would stop turning & people would stop changing. because to them, at that time, everything was perfect.

April 8th, the day previous of today was that moment in time for me. As a 12 year old, life was pretty good. As good as it could get, I should add. Growing up in Illinois was easy. I seemed to fit in just fine, and everything was going wonderfully. I was talented, I found myself attractive, and I came from a loving family. I was living the ideal life.

April 9th, things changed. You see, in the home I grew up in, different was wrong. I come from a very religious family. You know, church, prayers, the whole nine. Everything had to be perfect with my parents, and for the longest time, it was a perfect way to live. I enjoyed being so religious because I had somewhere to put all this trust I had inside me. All these thoughts that swam through my mind day after day and night after night, it felt like I had someone to confide in, and it was one of the single best feelings in the world. I had no reason to ever doubt myself until I crossed the street one day, gripping my mothers hand, and someone caught my eye.

In the love stories my mother and father would read to me, they'd all start with once upon a time and end with happily ever after. I longed for that. I couldn't wait to grow up, meet the love of my life, marry her and start a family. Ever person dreams of those kinds of things, right? It was only normal. But in every story, there would always be a princess and a prince, and that's just how it was. That's just how it's supposed to be. That is what's right.

That day, crossing the street, the person who caught my eye did not have long beautiful hair like the princesses did in the stories that I loved. In fact, this person was not a princess at all. The person who caught my eye was a prince. I recognized the boy as someone from my school, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember his name. He was devilishly handsome, and he had a smile that could light up this whole world, well, it lit up mine at least.

I didn't mean to notice him in a way I should only notice girls. It was not my intentions at all, and I knew it was wrong. A prince and a prince could never be together because that was everything but right. Absolutely everything. That's what I had been brought up to believe, anyways. That's what they preached in church.

I remember a few years back, there was this man who attended my church. He was a nice man, real kind. Always donated. He prayed loudly, and sang loudly. Then one day, he showed up to church with another man. Their hands were locked, and everyone frowned upon them. After that day, he never showed up in church again.

I quickly turned my head away from the boy I saw on the street, and gripped my moms hand a little tighter than I had before. I pushed the feelings down deep inside me, ignoring them to the best of my ability because being a homosexual was a choice, and I was not one for making stupid decisions.

Stupid, stupid decisions.

That night, after dinner, I was sent to my room. It didn't take me long to change into my pajamas, and after that, it was time to pray. Praying was a part of daily and nightly routine. It was just something that made me who I am, and I was not ashamed to admit that at all. No one should ever be ashamed to pray.

I knelt down beside my bed, closed my eyes and folded my hands, just like my father taught me to do. He said that when he was young, like me, that's how he would pray too. I aspired to be just like my father one day.