Connections

Chapter 5: Sympathy

I don't know how long I stayed in that position. Curled up and crying uselessly on the floor. But that conversation with Melanie really messed me up. I love Ruler. I really do, and everything Melanie said about him really ticked me off. But that wasn't why I was crying. Melanie's comment about my mother hurt. More that I would ever tell anyone. I generally don't miss my parents, or dwell on their deaths. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I didn't know them. You can't miss what you never had. That's the motto I've lived by these past 13 years without parents. That, and the fact that Ruler really is a good father. But that motto doesn't always work when you look around you and see how everyone else has their parents. Not only do they have their parents, but their parents are around. Their parents aren't always hopping from place to place for political affairs, and that place rarely ever lands on you. So Melanie's comment was really below the belt. 

Which was why I was on the floor, curled up with a blanket that Ruler had said my parents had given me. It was my crutch everytime the untold grief got to be too much. And I seriously hated to cry. I rarely ever cried, and have mastered the art of crying almost completely silently when I actually do cry. If you can't see me, you'd probably never know I was crying. Especially if you were outside my door. So it was a huge surprise when the door cracked open, and a voice asked, "Sly, are you ok?" 

Ric is the only person in the world who's ever been able to tell if I'm crying. Even from outside the door, he can tell the difference between the small sounds I make when I'm crying, and when I'm asleep (which is what Ruler thinks). But Ric knows that when I'm crying, I don't want anyone to see me.

Worse than that, I couldn't pin point the voice. I knew I had heard it before, but I couldn't out a face to it. The last thing I wanted was for a total stranger to see me cry, so I said, "Yes." I was hoping that since my back was to the door, the person would believe me, and leave. Unfortunately, my voice cracked on a sob, and I knew that any chance of conviencing the intruder that I was alright would be in vain. 

I sat up, clutching my blanket to my chest and looked at the door, messy strands of hair in my face. Through the hair in my eyes, I could make out a silhouette. A familiar silhouette. "Chris, what are you doing here?" I asked in surprise, my shock at finding my brother's Assignment at my bedroom door enough to stop my tears.

Chris looked at his feet sheepishly. "I, um, heard some noises coming from your room. They almost sounded like you were sleeping fitfully, but I know that you don't sound like that when you're alseep, so I just wanted to make sure you're ok." 

"Well, thanks, I guess." I said awkwardly. The only people who ever showed any kind, even the teeny tiniest bit, of caring for my well-being were Ric and Ruler. And after how Melanie has treated me, I was even more surprised that Chris didn't just keep walking past my door, praying that something was wrong with me. "Aren't you supposed to be off by now?" I asked.

Chris nodded. "I was on my way out. I pass your door every night before I leave."

Now, before you start going, 'Aw, he checks on you every night' like that was some kind of romantic confession, let me just say that I know it wasn't. My bedroom door is right by the stairs and if he were leaving, he'd have to pass it in order to get to the door. So there.

"So...how are you really?" he asked.

"Honestly? I don't know. Melanie-" I stopped there because the realization of who I was talking to just hit me. Chris might seem nice and sweet, but he was still an Animal. Not to mention that his sister was Melanie, so that was two strikes against him on my People To Confide In list.

Something flashed across Chris' eyes too fast for me to read it right. I hadn't even begun to contemplate what it could have been when he said, "She was mean to you again, wasn't she? I talked to her yesterday, tried to get her to lighten up. She said she would, but I guess she didn't mean it."