I Don't Care That You Broke Me- JaxXfem!reader fanfic

Hide and Seek

After getting somewhat lost in the circus, I decided I'd sit down in the corner behind a large block. My mind was racing. What did I do? Why is he angry? Is it my fault? Was he just pretending? Do I really mean anything to him? Does he really mean anything to me? Am I just that desperate for affection? What if he really was just bluffing, what then? Was anything about us ever real? Is he real? Am I real?

I felt myself starting to spiral, and with a gasp, I pulled myself out of the trance. I'm just overthinking things... of course he loves me. He'll calm down in a few hours... won't he? Yeah, that's all... he's just being grumpy, I'm sure it'll be ok...

I looked at my diary page. The writing was shaky, the words barely legible... but I didn't feel like doing any better. It'd been four months now since he talked to me, two since he looked at me, and a month since I even heard his voice. He rarely stayed in the same room as me, and when he was forced to, he'd stay as far away from me as possible. Caine never paired us up for the adventures, but this absolutely stupid digital body can't even cry tears. I'm so f[!@ 🎩#$]king done, with everything. Sometimes I think I might've done something to deserve this. Sometimes I think Jax is just doing it out of spite. Maybe it's Caine's fault somehow, Jax always looks a bit nervous when he's around now...

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. "Y/n!" A familiar voice called. "Caine says we've got a new adventure today!"

Ragatha. I sighed, and replied, "I'm not in the mood." "Aw, come on, where's that smile I always used to see? Bubble's joining us again... and we get to choose our partners!" She said, a bit hopefully.

I didn't respond.

"Come on, Y/n... you've been in there for a couple days now.. it's time to come on out!"

Nothing.

"...at least open the door?" She asked, sounding worried. I sighed again, and went to open the door, looking at the doll. "What.."

"Y/n, you need to get out of your room, please." She begged me, but I just looked away, and said, "I told you. I'm not in the mood."

Suddenly, Ragatha grabbed my wrist, and started dragging me along. "Wait- hey! Let go of me, I wanna be alone!" I complained, struggling against her grip. "And the lights are too bright, my eyes hurt!!" She didn't falter, and after a bit, I sighed, and gave up on resisting.

Once Ragatha had gotten me to the main room, she let go, and I just stood there, not really caring enough to do anything else. Caine was gone, probably off doing something else, and everyone else was already in pairs- Bubble and Kinger, Gangle and Zooble, Pomni and Ragatha, leaving just me... and Jax.

Soon, the room cleared out, and the two of us were alone. I hesitated, unsure what to do, then finally mumbled, "So.. what's the adventure?.."

He just looked away, ignoring me. "Jax?" I tried again. His name felt strange on my tongue for some reason. How long was it, even, that I last said his name? I stepped forward, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. "Jax, wha-" He slapped my hand away, and I pulled it back, giving him a hurt, confused look.

"Jax, just tell me what's wrong... did I do something?.." I asked quietly, my voice cracking a bit as I looked at him.

"..no." His voice was quiet, but oh so wonderful, god I missed it... but my heart almost broke when I saw his disinterested yet almost mourning expression. "Then what's wrong?.." "Nothing. I'm fine." He replied, and I looked away. "But why haven't you been... around me?" I asked softly, my voice wavering yet again. No response.

"...did you... did you mean it, when you said I was yours? All the times you said you loved me? Or.. w-was that.. just a lie?.." I whispered, feeling almost broken. He froze for a second, and I could've sworn I saw a look of guilt and desperation on his face. It was gone when I tried to see it closer, though, so maybe it was just a trick of the light. Finally, he shook his head slightly, and whispered back, "...no. No, it wasn't a lie."

"Then please, Jax... why have you started avoiding me?" I asked, and took a step forward. He didn't move. "..just leave me alone, Y/n." He replied, and left. It felt like a stab to my heart. Why was he doing this?! I feel like he really is just playing with me at this point..

Alright, here you go; sorry about the short chapter, however I am curious to know... what kind of ending are you hoping for, happy or sad? I'm giving you the power here, so use it wisely.