I Don't Care That You Broke Me- JaxXfem!reader fanfic

An Explanation - part 2

"I said to stay away from her." Caine's voice sounded, and we both looked up, Jax looked absolutely terrified for some reason.

"What?" I asked, tensing up. "I thought you said he just didn't wanna see me anymore!"

"Y/n." Jax said quietly, shushing me.

"I told him to stay away from you because, as I said before, this kind of affection is prohibited in the circus." Caine growled; the ferris wheel stopped, leaving me and Jax cornered at the highest possible place on the wheel.

"But why?!" I asked, and Caine looked away. "...because I can't hug the moon. She doesn't have a body, and the most I can do is sit on one of her curves. I can't even kiss her, I don't have lips and I can't make them. So I've decided, no one needs to cuddle or kiss or any of that romantic stuff other than through words, like Zooble has been doing for Gangle and Ragatha for Pomni."

"So... you don't want us to be happy... because you can't be happy?" I asked, a little confused. Caine was acting like a toddler at this point. "Precisely." Caine replied. "So, Y/n, you get off Jax's lap right this instant, and I won't have to do anything."

"...what will you do if I don't?" I asked, not scared, and Caine's voice lowered to a menacing growl.

"I'll send you to the cellar." He replied, "I'll send you down, down to the cellar, with the abstracted, and I'll keep you there until you can't remember your digital name, until you can't remember who you are, or where you are, and all you hear will be the sound of water running and all you will see is the glow of the shifting eyes of the Abstracted; all you will feel is the pain of the glitches and your senses getting stripped from you. You won't be able to abstract, you won't sleep, or eat, or even think normally, and I will make sure of that until you forget how everything was, and you will only return once Jax is long gone, and then you will be like Kinger, and you will never question me again."

I stared up at him, my throat closing up. "W- hah, you're not serious are you?" I replied, and Caine got closer. "Do you want me to be?" I suddenly felt the weight of his threat; I could see in his eyes that he wasn't joking.

"No, sir." I squeaked out. "Then get off him." Caine growled, and I nodded, quickly getting off Jax's lap.

"Good. I expect that this won't be happening again?" Caine asked, and I nodded again. Satisfied, he flew away again.

Jax let out a shaky breath behind me as the ferris wheel began turning again, stopping at the ground.

"Let's go back to the circus." He said quietly, and I nodded, not looking at him.

'So... he was avoiding me to keep me safe and, well... sane...' I thought to myself. 'And... all my self-hatred and doubt was for nothing.'

"Hey... um... Jax?" I murmured, and he looked over at me. "What?"

"I just wanted to say... sorry for... um... doubting you, about ever... loving me. I feel terrible about thinking you didn't mean it, and... You've hurt me a couple times, but..." I trailed off as Jax pulled me into a tight hug. "Don't worry about it, my love." He replied softly. "You didn't know, and I didn't wanna tell you. Just remember now, that I do love you, baby. And maybe, one day, I can get Caine to let us be as close as we want."

"I hope so..." I whispered back, and we returned to the circus, the others stepping through the portal a couple minutes after. Gangle and Zooble were talking together, Ragatha holding Pomni's hand, and Kinger as crazy as ever. Now that I actually thought about it... I guess Kinger must have been put through the same treatment, since Caine mentioned Kinger had a wife. Poor guy...

Jax made his way over to go make fun of Pomni, quickly hiding that anything happened, and I let out a small sigh; Gangle went to talk with Kinger, listening as he started rambling about bugs and other random things, and I walked over to Zooble, who looked a bit proud of themselves.

"Hey." I greeted them, "Looks like something good happened?"

They nodded, "Yeah, I... managed to ask Gangle if she wanted to be my girlfriend."

"And? What did she say?"

"She... Well, she said yes." Zooble admitted, and I smiled. "I thought she would. Congratulations on the new relationship." I replied, and Jax came over, letting out a laugh.

"Wow, really, Zooble? You like Gangle? Ha!" He sneered, and Zooble rolled their eyes.

"It's not like you have a girlfriend." They replied, and Jax chuckled a bit. "Think again, Mx Potato Head." He then gestured to me, and Zooble raised an eyebrow. "Yeah right. Y/n? Dating you? As if..."

"Go on; tell them we're together... darling~" Jax purred, and I felt my face get a bit red. "W-well... um... yeah, I mean I... I guess we are dating." I stuttered, and Zooble looked stunned.

"Why?" They finally got out. "How the hell do you like him? Wait, no- how long have you been together?" "Four months." Jax interjected, and if Zooble had a jaw, it most definitely would have dropped.

"Four- you two have barely been in the same room the last four months!!" They cried, and Jax laughed a bit, then yoinked one of their arms, scratching his back with it, before yelping as Zooble's fingers- which were currently sharp- dug into his back. "Hey!!" I giggled a bit. It feels good to be back like this with him. Jax and Zooble continued their... debate... and I talked with Ragatha and Pomni, trying to get rid of the small amount of stress Caine had given me with his threat. 

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaast chapter is coming soon! Are you all satisfied? Excited? I hope so! And, after all your requests for a happy ending, I'd say I did pretty well. Wouldn't you?