I miss falling in love, I miss the tight feeling in my chest that bursts into happiness once I see him. I guess missing this feeling this much is what made me fall for you, sometimes I really wished it was love, not this deeply desire of feeling loved, appreciated and seen, I guess this is why I couldn't let you go, that's why I'm still hoping you come back telling me that you miss talking to me, that you wish to keep contact, I hate feeling like I don't have any control of what we have, if we have anything, I just want to fall in love with you even if that means I'll end up with a broken heart and you telling me that you don't feel the same, I want to fall in love with you because that would mean I got to know you, that I finally know your favorite color because I know it's not red, I would love to know your favorite subject in school even if we left school ten years ago, I really want to know you, deeply, so deeply I would know what happens in your mind when you are not answering my messages or maybe I just want to finally understand what the Hell are you feeling if you are feeling anything at all, what really made you change your mind and what's that little thing that made us stop talking, I was going to write "Stop worrying about eachother" but I never stopped caring about you and I never knew if you thought about me at all.
I would like to know what made this one sided love feel so so different from the ones I had in the past, why this one hurts so deep in my chest, I suppose it's because you really made me feel wanted for a fraction of a second because even if it was short lived it means everything to me.
I want to fall in love with the person in my 22:22 wishes, I want you to be that person so I could stop wishing for a little bit of attention, I want to fall in love, I want to stop wishing for you to notice me, I'm not asking for you to fall in love with me, I want you to keep the promise of being my friend, I want to be able to talk with you and not feeling like a burden I want you to think of me a little not even as much as I think about you, because everything makes me think about you, everything makes me see so much about you.
I want to fall in love with you being my friend, I want to feel my heart rush everytime you send me a message not my eyes fill with tears everytime I think of you and you don't think of me, I want to fall in love with you being my friend, I want to laugh with you again until my face hurts from smiling so hard but for that I really need you to be honest with me, I know I can't demand this because we are nothing, not even friends, but I want to be your friend, I want to feel comfortable with you, I want to feel safe talking to you so my heart decides to keep you next to him for a moment.
I don't know if I'm asking for a lot but I guess when you don't have any interest in the other person even a Hello it's a lot.
I miss you.
