Official

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I've been numb once I found out the news
The news you're gone
Depression hit hard
Motivation sucked away

I take it day by day
Push through for my sake
To not go down the rabbit hole
I can't for a little one that looks up to me
They don't understand what's going on fully

The day came for the final farewell
21 gun salute made it feel official
You're truly gone
The tears fell like a dam broke open
Once I heard the first out of the three
From seven guns firing at once
My heart shattered for my son
The memories he won't remember
But I will

Getting to meet your great grandparents is rare for some
Grateful for the year and a half of my sons life

I officially don't get to say grandpa anymore
Unless I'm talking about memories
Or telling my son go to his grandpa

It will take time for me to feel like me again
I'll have to fake it till I make it
Plaster a smile to make people think I'm okay

In reality I'm drowning

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